First off I could careless if you believe me or not and I do not role play. I'm going to give you a few details of my life and then I will explain why I am sharing this.
My earliest memory is of being in a car wreck when I was 5yrs old. I remember waking up from a dream where I was in a two story white farm house talking to a man made out of shadows who promised me I would never be alone and I would never feel afraid, that he would give me someone to protect me. I woke up from that dream in a hospital bed. For weeks after that I dreamed of the shadow man and talked to him. I also started having an imaginary friend that only I could hear. Fast forward 9 years when I was 14, I started seeing things before they would happened and could feel others emotions. I also learned my imaginary friend wasn't so imaginary as in times of distress or pain he would take over. He explained he was a demon placed inside of me when I died, as you can guess I became very depressed and suicidal. My inner demon actually said he was sorry for causing me that pain. We undertook a ritual to merge our souls as one until the day I die. A year later I met the only person I have ever loved.
I won't go into the long details of our relationship. I will just say she is what I refer to as a natural witch. She had so much power especially over nature and she never realized it. She was depressed and honestly I wanted to take advantage of her, instead I fell in love and did all in my power to protect her and make her happy. During this time I learned about my demon's past that a long time ago he fell in love before and she was burned and he lost it and wiped out an entire village and was sealed away for centuries for his actions. Over the years I learned other abilities I have as well because of merging my soul. Anyways because of my love for my one and only and her influence in my life I broke away from what I was suppose to be and started living life as humble and nice as I could be. I'm always the first to try and help out someone. Fast forward to a month ago. My love of 17 years passed away in a tragic accident. I feared the anger and rage growing so against my own instincts I walked into the hospital chapel, sat down with chaplin and asked him to pray for both my love's soul and mine.
After that I felt lighter, I was still sad that my love was gone but the rage building inside was gone and both parts of my soul felt pure for the first time in well ever. Now to bring us to the present. I can feel the anger and rage building inside again, everything within me screams for revenge of my goddess' death. She died for such a stupid reason due to the greed and desires of other people and I want to make them suffer as they made her suffer and caused her death. This is my problem, I swore I would always protect her even after she passed away, I want to take revenge for her but I know she would not want that, she could never harm anyone. I want to take all this rage and anger out of me. It is impossible to remove a merged soul but I need something that can lock up my darker side or at least block out the negative emotions.