Casting Instructions for 'Meet a Secret Agent'
This spell takes some before planning and more than just a little bit of imagination. First you need an egg of Silly Putty. As you mold the Silly Putty, imagine that it is a living creature, next, rub the Silly Putty onto each dollar bill you have in your possession. While you are doing this, chant Oh, Silly Putty, exalted Ditto Help me find the phonies The Silly Putty can be used as a talisman to attract Secret Agents. If the green on the dollar bill is taken off by the Silly Putty, put that into a pile. If you find any coins that seem off, like coins that have a chip in the date or bubbles or coins that should have ridges that don?t or coins that have ridges that shouldn?t, put those in the pile. Also if you have any dollar bills that are odd in any way, like having wrong portraits or odd denominations such as a zero dollar bill, put those in the pile Next, write a short story explaining your goals. Make the Silly Putty you just handled the star of the story. Give it the name Silly Putty, and have it catch counterfeiters, handle money, or who knows, even have raunchy Secret Agent Sex. If you know any real counterfeiters, add their name, phone number, address, and distinguishing characteristics. Even if you know a person who wants to kill the President, add them in. If you think you?ve won the medal of honor, put that in too. Be sure to tell how you received it any why you don?t have it anymore, you can embellish a little bit and leave parts out if they are too embarrassing, but be warned, you can?t fool a Secret Agent. Finish the story by having Silly Putty catch the counterfeiters, presidential assassins, etc. and put them in jail. Next gather up all the bills and coins that you put in a pile, and write your initials on the suspect notes and coins. Put them in a brown paper bag and put it in your purse. You will need a purse to carry the coins, bus pass, Silly Putty and manuscript in. Next, get changed, put on perfume, your best dress, make up and pumps on. If you haven?t recently done so, take a shower. Next, go to the Federal Reserve and try to pick out a Secret Agent in a business suit. Hand him the manuscript and the bag of suspect money. Try to strike up a conversation with him. If he gives you bubble gum, accept it. If he gives you any drugs, make sure they?re legal and the Secret Agent has a badge. He may give you a ride to the Secret Agent Headquarters, make sure he has a badge before you get into the car with him and do whatever he says. Also there are Female Secret Agents, but they are rare and harder to spot.
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