Hi! I'm going to be getting married to my girlfriend soon and I wanted to know if anyone has done a hand hasting ceremony? She's agnostic and I'm a Hellenic polytheist so I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with a priest or any kind of Christian influence.
I looked up pagan rituals and came across a hand fasting ceremony and wanted to know if anyone had done it and how did they do it. Did you personally write the words? Did you and your spouse do it yourself or did you have someone else do the ritual for you? And finally, what did you bind your hands with? I've seen some beautiful cords on etsy but I've also seen plain ribbons representing the couple. I would love any kind of information about this!
A hand-fasting is just a wedding ceremony presided over and led by a priestess of a folk tradition. It is generally still a religious ceremony, just under a different religion. I don't know what country you've in, but many places have multi-denominational services. Best advice I can give is get intouch with local wedding services and ask them who to talk to locally. They should be able to point you in the right direction for the services you are looking for.
Re: Hand Fasting Ceremony By: Lark Moderator / Adept
Post # 3 Apr 24, 2024
I have presided over a number of handfasting ceremonies in my capacity as a Wiccan priestess. But a handfasting doesn't necessarily involve a priest or priestess. It can easily be done just between the two being handfasted or it can include friends you might want to invite to your sharing of vows.
As to the words of the handfasting, you can find rituals on-line. Or you can create your own personal ritual. When I would preside over a handfasting I would ask the couple to at least write their own promises to each other to keep everything very personal.
As to the cords, those can be whatever you want them to be. I would let the couple choose their own cords as that made it more personal. Ribbons are fine. Cords are fine. They are strictly symbolic so find something that symbolizes the binding of the two as one.
One thing to keep in mind is that a handfasting is not considered a legal marriage in most states unless certain requirements are met. So to be sure you are legally married for tax and other persons, I highly recommend you go to the courthouse for a civil marriage and then have the handfasting for a spiritual marriage.
You might find this book helpful in making your plans: "Magickal Weddings: Pagan Handfasting Traditions for Your Sacred Union: Planning & Preparation, Rituals & Blessings, Ceremonial Tools, History & Legality, Vows" by Joy Ferguson
And here's a link to a handfasting ritual I have used many times and that works especially well if everyone present isn't Pagan. http://www.tangledmoon.org/oath-handfast.htm
