In my personal experience, it is more than possible to control someone's thoughts. Sometimes into alarmingly specific levels. At the very least, implant thoughts into their minds that they will seemingly wake up with, to make them act by your will. It's the kind of covert manipulation that falls into the same box as most advertising, and body language really.
However, the ritual you describe has too much of a curse's structure. I would suggest you put a binding spell on the other guy, and go from there. Maybe with the mind control, but other doors may possibly open and the binding spell may be enough.
As for how to perform the binding spell, it is actually fairly simple. If you need a number, 9. If you need a color, red. And if you need a spirit, Hecate.
Incorporate those how you will. Create a poppet of your target, out of anything you please. I suggest getting a picture printed out. Get a long piece of red yarn and wrap it nine times around, whispering, ''you are bound.''
As you do this, within your head visualize the man being wrapped astrally in long red chains, that tighten each time he tries to slip out of them. Keep binding him, each time with more will.
Then you may wish to gaze into the bound poppet and visualize the desired outcome.
Flood it with emotion, exhaust all of your feelings, and come out of the ritual confident that the obstacle has basically been removed. Hide the poppet somewhere, and forget about it entirely. When the working has given the desired results, burn it or bury it.