I did a past life meditation regression for the first time, and I didn't get to see a full picture of my past lives, only pieces or the ends of them. This is the best that I found out about three of them. During this, I had to walk to a door through a lighted tunnel to each past life, and it was so hard to do so. The first time I was forcing my feet through sand, the second time I had to forge through water, and the third time I fell through a black pit with vines eating my hands. Okay, this is what I saw:
-first lifetime: I only saw sand. I was in a desert somewhere, but with no one. I think I was in white clothing. 20 years later, I was in a different white outfit and was being beaten by someone I didn't see clearly. I was saying "Shandi" over and over, and then went to "sorry".
-second lifetime: I was immediately stabbed by a spear or sword when I stepped through the door. I was on a grassy plain, and there was a war or battle going on. I tried to get up, but I fell back over and felt myself die. I know I was a man with red hair, a beard, and green clothing with armor. 20 years later, I was at my grave. A woman in pink with her son or daughter was there. The only thing I remember feeling as a lesson was that it was my fault, that I was sorry for doing what I did. I remember screaming sorry a hundred times.
-my third life: I was in London as a woman in dark colors. I was on a cobblestone road. I was quickly strangled to death with a rope around my neck by someone. I never saw them, but I know they were dragging me away somewhere down the road. 20 years later, I was a skeleton on display for people to laugh and gawk at. The only lesson I remember learning was "I hate humanity".
Each time the part for forgiveness came in each lifetime, I couldn't say it: the first time sand filled my mouth, the second time I felt blood come up, and the third time I refused to forgive myself for the horrors I've committed.
What do you think I could have been?