my opinion you need to let go and move on. if he still loves you he would divorce his wife and be with you. i think you've put a lot of energy into the cross because of what it means to you. this obsession is not healthy, if i were you i would try to distance myself from the emotions surrounding this situation and look at it logically and try and look inward as well. i'm not saying you don't love each other, but again, while a wife and kids as well as family disapproval makes it hard, it's not impossible. i could list as many examples of people who left their wives/family to be with the person they love as well as couples who just wanted a bit on the side. if i were you i would focus on myself. if it's meant to be it will happen. tell him either leave his wife or leave you alone. it hurts, and it might take some time, but it'll work out for the best in the end, whatever the result may be.