You're not a professional psychiatrist, AkPos, so please stop trying to tell people that their experiences are schizophrenic.
LadyA, if you feel like choosing between Christianity and Paganism is like being torn between good and evil, are you not already looking at things from a Christian perspective? There is nothing evil about Paganism except in what individual people do and you'd get that anywhere.
Also consider Christopaganism, which is a syncretic religion involving the Abrahamic God being above the other Pagan Gods (as Paganism is often viewed as European polytheistic religions).
I woudl also like to point out that there's actually nothing inherently magical about Paganism, either. Can Pagans practice magic? Yes, but that doesn't make Paganism a magickal practice.