Self conscious...massively affected by hatred...and yet, having chosen to go against the grain of your own support system.
I think that last one is a good thing, actually. Anxiety can really eat away at you, making some anxious people do everything they can just to get other people's approval in the hope that life will just stop hurting already. So doing something different, even if you still care what other people think (not a frivolous thing--members of religious minorities face a lot of danger!) at least I think it shows that you know your rights. You know you have a right to your own mind, your own life...anxiety can tell you otherwise sometimes, but it's not running things. It's got to share some space with your confidence, and in this case your confidence manifests in your change or exploration of religion.
My first piece of advice would be...actually...not to have quite so much dependent on physical objects. Maybe that seems to be an important part of Wicca, so that would be difficult to fully get into the practice without the stuff, but stuff is evidence. I adore tarot decks, too, but I'm fortunate enough to have begun learning them among people who were either apathetic or thought it was cool and either way respected my privacy and space. Perhaps bibliomancy might be a safer way to study divination?
The second thing I would advise you to do is find a way to heal and/or recover from anxiety and depression. Those can be a great drain on your psychic energy. The one that worked best for me was Duskenpath's psychic surgery: http://duskenpath.blogspot.com/2012/08/pbp-19-psychic-surgery-what-it-is-how.html ...in combination with her soul landscapes method, although the surgery on its own it worked well enough that I pegged her as the real deal.
Thirdly, my favorite magic tutorial: http://thebookoft.wordpress.com/knowledge/witchcraft-from-the-ground-up/preface/
Finally, even though I'm psychic, I'm not so psychic that I know what's going on with your upside-down life, but I certainly wish you luck!