While there may be some covens that change leadership yearly or which regularly rotate leadership positions among the coven members this is in no way generally true. The vast majority of covens, and certainly all covens within British Traditional Wicca, do not rotate the positions of High Priest and High Priestess amongs the coven members.
In all forms of British Traditional Wicca one cannot become a High Priestess or a High Priest until you have reached 3rd Degree initiation in that Tradition. Once you have formed your own coven you remain High Priest or High Priestess until you decide to step down. Nor do such Traditional have any sort of coven Council.
In the Tradition in which I trained one had to also attain 3rd Degree before hiving off and forming one's own coven. I founded and led my coven as High Priestess for 12 years. In that coven all Initiates were part of a coven Council; however, the final decision on coven matters always remained with the High Priest and High Priestess. That's not to say that most decisions were not made through conscensus, but they did not have to be. And on two occasions I over-ruled what the Initiates suggested be done.
In regards to sexual activity in a ritual context, it is certainly true that no coven should coerce a member into having sex if they don't wish to do so. That being said, there are some Traditions where ritual sex is an important part of ritual practice. However, these are covens where all members are consenting adults and generally where such activity is between committed couples.
How one deals with the issue of trangendered individuals is entirely up to the Tradition or coven in question. In the Oak, Ash, and Thorn Tradition of which I have been Tradition HPS since 2001 a transgendered person is still considered to be of their birth gender unless and until they undergo gender re-assignment surgery. Should they undergo initiation prior to that then they are initiated as Priest or Priestess according to their birth gender. So a transgender male who has not undergone surgical gender reassignment could not act as Priestess nor could a transgender female act as Priest in my Trad.
Now, according to what you've posted, that would mean that it appears that none of the covens in these Traditions are "wholesome" and that is patently not the case. So while I think your sentiment is sound, it is never wise to over-generalize what makes an ethical and wholesome group. What you've posted might be your opinion, but it is not a generally held one.
On the other hand, there is an excellent check-list to determine whether a group is ethical that was written by Isaac Bonewitz. You can find this evaluation form at http://www.neopagan.net/ABCDEF.html