Having a few problems...

do you cleanse your energy regularly? Meditate? Cleanse your mind and body?
Some people may be gifted in magick, but wether you're a natural or if you need to start from scratch, you need to respect magick, you can't just expect it to turn on and off just like that, you need to practise!!

Please don't feel like I'm trying to single you out and bash you but your problem seems to resemble a lot of other problem people seem to have with magick and its the lack of respect and practise.

How to solve your problem, practise!

You cannot control and/or move flames or any other element.Moreover bending elements,controlling them,creating,for example fire from thin air,all these are nothing but fantasy and does not fall in the category of magick.This stuff is termed as fluffy and is not possible.Magick is not "avatar the last air bender".Magick is spiritual,it is working with the energies of the universe.So,it is better not to fool others that you can control flames as it is not possible at all!
Lastly,as it is not possible at all,so you have not lost your energy or something.If you want to learn about real magick,for thats what we all are here,then its okay,but this fluff stuff will cause disturbance.
So,if you want to start from the beginning,learn the basics first.

If you could just try and cleanse your aura, your chakras, stuff should be okay :)

Else try meditating... listen to good positive music and try feeling energy :)

bending fire on a lighter is possible, but barley as it takes extreme concentration. And large mount of energy

*Evil

practice makes perfect...visualize your intend clearly and intently... focus and relax and it well come to you...

I have just looked at the profile of the original posting.
There is nothing on it!
No picture. No gender. No age. No location. Nothing about any interests.
But the poster asks for help. How can we help? We know nothing about you!

Why do I need all this info on my profile? So people can stalk me on the internet? Sorry I just dont see how that has anything to do with magic.