My name is Jesse been in Wicca for about 5 years now but still think of myself as a child when it comes to the art. I really want to know what happened in my past life this is because I feel deep down that something is lost or missing that I should have my soul is screaming for it what ever it may be. So what ever help I could get from that is always a plus.
I feel that I am a healer, this is because when I use my energy from my body to heal someone it makes me feel so good. Although at times I have to say that I feel really dark. I know everyone has a dark side to them, but this feels deeper as if it is coming from the soul its self. Would also like to learn why this would be.
I pray to the goddess Isis and the goddess Lilith. I might be a male as a shall but I don't think that really maters when it comes to who you pray to. I used to be a christian before turning to Wicca.
When I was about 5-7 years of age my mom was into Wicca and even had a teacher where this teacher is now I don't have a clue and if I asked I know my mom wouldn't tell me. Any ways my mother opened a door which to this day I don't think she closed it. She got scared of what come out. this entity that came out was helping her. So instead of taking care of it she just ran her teacher tried to have her take care of it, but she didn't. When I was at this age is when I found a love for the arts. I don't know how to remove or send back this entity without my mom knowing because she doesn't know that it is still with her.
I know I have great power deep inside, but when it comes to using some of this power I feel I keep running into walls as if someone has placed them there. Every time I try to meditate I always fall asleep and ideas how to fix this?