Okay, so I asked some higher beings to show me my past life (actually one of them offered and I said yeah) because I am not very good at getting deep into meditation so they decided to show me. they even told me my name; they said not to share my former name here though.
they told me it was early 1800's, and I saw an image of my former self in the woods, laughing, with long dark hair. I was married to a man with dark hair and we lived in the woods for many years, then I had his child, a girl. When she was almost full grown, i.e. teenager, she was taken captive by these huge men...my husband went after them and ended up getting shot with an arrow. I frantically took him to a medicine man (not indian, some other type) but the man did his best and could not help my husband, he died. Upon his death I literally felt the grief she experienced...after that my former self went to find her daughter. She did find the camp, but ended up being caught and raped by one of the huge men...she became prego and gave birth to a stillborn. After that she got tortured by hot irons burning her while she was tied up. She was then released by one of the men...he helped her get away but she had to go back for her daughter; this time they managed to get away. They lived in a cave with another small girl they rescued from the camp, and the last scene my former self was old with white hair and smiling eyes.
trippy huh? the name I was given is actually a variation of the name of the main character in the novel im writing...except it's a variation i could not find on the internet. finally I remember something!!!!