When a soul passes into Side(Summerland) it takes a period of time to review its past lessons & lives, particularly the most recent ones, and to recover from any death trauma it may have experienced. Than it decides what lessons and experiences it needs in order to grow, decides when, where and to which parents will be best to implement that growth. In due time the soul is reborn into the circumstances it has chosen....so you see, you have no one to blame for your problems but yourself....after all, you picked them, lol!
My belief is after you die, you enter the gateways where you are judged and placed in heaven and hell. If you are placed in hell I think you must stay for a period of time based off what you have done,after you may now choose heaven or reincarnation. however if sent to heaven you may be reincarnated at will.