Mail Common Courtesies

Common Courtesy

I feel as though I should never have to write a forum post such as this, but after the actions of many members of this site to myself and others over the years, I feel it is important to make this post about common courtesies of the mailing system.

Beyond the site rules, there are several common courtesies that people need to remember when asking for help via mail from other members, that are all too commonly forgotten:

1) Use a subjectLine

If on a mail, there is no subject it instantly becomes less inviting to look at, especially if the person receiving the mail gets a lot of messages per day. Write a few words regarding what you need assistance with and it is much more likely to be opened and responded to in a timely manner.

2) Don't be Rude

This seems so simple, yet many people seem to forget this key point. If someone is rude, we are much less likely to help you. Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself, this includes being polite, respecting boundaries and generally being a decent person, and never forget that the person on the other end of mail is real, they have emotions too.

3) Don't Push for Private Details

If you asks for a piece of information from someone, and they refuse, don't try to force it out of them: age, realnames and locations are all things I see regularly being asked for. If someone is not willing to give out private information, don't try to force it out of them with blackmail or repeated questioning. Privacy is still a thing, and it should be respected.

4) Read their Profile before Sending Mail

Another thing that is commonly forgotten is to read someone's profile, most of the time they will have a list of their personal practices and what you can and cannot ask questions about written clearly for everyone to see. If you would like a reading and someone says blatantly that they don't offer readings in their profile, you could save everyone some time by taking a moment to read.

5) Don't Expect to be Spoon Fed

Asking for guidance on a singular matter is one thing, but when you expect the person you are mailing to give you every single piece of information they have on a whole topic, that is pushing it. People here are very willing to help, but remember that we managed to get our information from somewhere and there are hundreds of high-quality sources to read and learn from. Don't expect people here to spoon feed you while there are hundreds of new sources we never had, easily accessible online.

6) Don't Use Foul Language

This goes for sexual language and curse words, don't treat someone as though they are less than you by resorting to swearing or sexualising them, especially when you are asking for their assistance. This is a website for knowledge and community, not for someone to mail everyone to flirt with them and not for people to be sworn at. Please remember than anyone from the age of 13 up can use this site , and it is very unlikely that they will feel comfortable in our community with others sending them messages filled with foul language.

7) When asking for Readings or Guidance be Polite

If someone says they offer readings or guidance on their profile, don't think that this gives you the right to be demanding. Anyone taking the time and effort to conduct divination readings or offer you help is putting themselves under a lot of pressure as they tend to get a lot of mail. Be polite, courteous and if they are unable to help you, don't be rude.

8) Use Please and Thank you's

Receiving a mail which only says e.g "Tell me about candle magick" with no please or thank you's is insulting enough, but after putting the time and effort in to give an in depth response, it is even worse to receive a response of "ok", if you want someone to give you information, at least have the decency to use please and thank you, give an introduction and some information more than just a demand.

Just because we are behind our own separate device doesn't give you the right to treat us poorly while asking for help, or readings. Talk to us as though we were standing right in front of you and always think before you type.

Great post ;) I believe that was really needed and should be pinned.

Thank you Rikki. This is important and needed to be said. I have guidelines clearly on my profile and nobody bothers to read them. Even if they did not want to scroll down, the part about me being married is at the top. And yet, I still get harassed by men in such a vulgar manner. Then people begging me to teach them. I don't feel comfortable teaching and in some cases, if they are a minor it can resort in a lawsuit. Then I get obvious questions such as my practices, well if you read then you would know. I also get asked for readings, as they read far enough to see I do oracle but not far enough to see that I don't usually give out readings. A lot admit that they do infact read but think they are a special snowflake that is more worthy than everyone else and that the guideline simply does not apply to them for some reason. If I refuse to give them what they want they get mouthy, rude, verbally aggressive, etc. You are not entitled to anything so I guess I wish people would understand that.

Excellent guidelines, thank you for posting and bringing them together! This should be required reading for anyone using the site mailing system.

A post that shouldn't have to be written, but, it is something that has needed to be said. Great post, hopefully people take a something positive away from it.

Great post Rikki you said it perfectly

Very well said.

Everyone should be forced to read this. -.-

The human population as a whole lacks common sense. xD
They give in to the idiocy of society, drugs and/or alcohol.

My pet peeves are the people who want a spell cast for them but are not willing to learn how to cast it for themselves.
and
People who will not put up a profile or a photo.
Show yourself!