I'm too restless to sleep tonight even though I'm exausted. *yawns*
I'll probably just make some coffee in a few minutes.
Why I avoid people and treat some people rudely?
Because they don't deserve my time or my worries for them
I spent most of my life worring for people and because of that I became a very anxious person.
I'm not doing that anymore.
I'm nice to most of you, but if I'm mean to you, it's because YOU HAVE A LEGITIMATE REASON TO BE TALKED TO IN THAT MANNER.
Wow..STILL SOME OF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS LOGIC.
Look, most internet relationships are fake, get over it and move on, find someone in real life that is worth your time rather than online pervs. Kay?
I wasn't born yesterday, I have common sense, leave me alone if you think you can get me believing in you or 'loving' you.
Besides, love is rare, it ain't on the internet.
Get over it.
Why are so much perverts migrating on this site?
Why isn't some people not having enough common sense to just block and report the messages?
Seriously though, perverts are low lives and until they know how life works, they shouldn't gain a social life or have the right to talk to girls/boys until they learn to get their sexual talking thing going on under control.
May I remind you that the internet still rules under the United States law and you can get fined and jailed, even if you are anonymous, you can still be tracked and found.
Being anonymous is just a joke.
And yes, most country's also follow thier country laws when it comes to internet use. Study and follow your country's laws so you don't have any problems.
Inspirational quote of the day: Don't be an a**.
I'm not going to be on as much this week due to school starting back up. I'm going to stay off of Facebook and Kik the next few weeks because I have no use for it at the moment. Texting me via SMS or messaging me on here is the best way to contact me if you need to talk (if you already have my number. DO NOT ask for it if I don't even know you.)
If you decide to contact me on here, please put in something regarding the subject in the subject bar instead of leaving it blank. The subject bar is there for a reason.
*Fighting for sanity. I don't need nor want anyone's help while I'm finding it. It's a journey that is meant and should always be made alone.*
And besides, who's gonna help you when you need it anyways?
That's right. Nobody!
So, get your act together. We where born alone and we die alone, we must learn how to take care of ourselves because nobody's gonna take care of you forever.
To WolfProxy: I don't like or love you. Leave me alone and find someone else that is willing to waste their life and time. I don't feel love for anyone and I NEVER WILL. Yeah, maybe friendship, but not love. I don't want even a friendship with you. Just leave me alone. I want my life back to normal and that means to take you (and some others) out of it. It's over and done. You have been blocked.
NOT READING MESSAGES.
I'm not really feeling good today so I'm not going to be on.
Trying to find inspiration and motivation. It seems to get harder to find those day after day but somehow I'm still here breathing and talking. We kinda all are. I'm happy for certain people but others I just want to see them fail and mishap. It's hard to explain. I'm not sad or anything, I'm just finding it hard to prosses certain things at the moment so you can stop mailing me asking and preaching that I'm 'depressed and suicidal' because I'm a very happy individual that seeks to find happiness and unlock it in others. At one time I was depressed and was at a low point but I moved on and got happier with myself. You all are beautiful and you all are strong. Nobody deserves to feel bad about themselves. You may feel like a complete failure now, but I know one day you will shine bright and show everyone else that your proud for who you are. You are you and that is what is special about you. Don't let anyone say or do things to bring you down and make you feel bad and don't let it get to the point of hurting yourself or other people either. A few years ago and I will admit I was violent and kinda loud, I got the the point of being sick of others pushing me around and telling me what I was and what I'm not, telling me what's good and bad about myself and basically acting like they owned me, I got sick of it and beated people up and it got me locked up in a juvenile detention center for 4 straight months. It's not pretty nor is it fun being in those places so when I got out I made a vow that I would change myself positively and it was up and down for a while but I managed. The main point is that you are beautiful and don't let anyone change that about you. So many people are focused in outer beauty and that needs to stop. Inner beauty is what really counts. I know it's been said many times but it's true. All of you that want to put others down because they look 'bad' or because you want to look big need to shut up. All you're doing is making yourself look like an idiot and someone with no intelligence whatsoever, you make youself look stupid. If you want to be smart learn that putting others down isn't doing anything and that egos are dumb. Learn to be yourself and f**k everyone else that wants you to be just like them.
I feel like something's preventing me from moving on so I'm just going to drop everything and forget square one and just get away from the people that are all talk-no action because what good is people when all they ever do is waste your time and they keep you trapped and guilt-trip? THEY ARE NO GOOD. So I'm just going to start fresh on my own because it's better to work for yourself and not let people use you all the time.
I'm SICK AND TIRED of those of you that want to do nothing but guilt-trip, use, and lie all the f***ing time, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I DO NOT WANT ANY RELATIONSHIP AND I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOU. I DO NOT WANT "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" NOR DO I WANT TO EVEN TALK TO YOU. LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE!
(If any of you have a problem with the profanity I'll kindly take it off. I'm beginning to get VERY furious at some of you guys. Most of the questions I get on here via mail the answers, ARE HERE, IN THE BIO SOMEWHERE. A lot of you send me messages along the lines of "Your bio is long" or in relation. I KNOW IT IS LONG. I WILL NOT DELETE ANYTHING TO MAKE IT SHORTER. YOU CAN EITHER CHOOSE TO READ IT OR NOT READ IT AT ALL BUT THAT IS NOT FOR ME TO DECIDE. I use this account to mostly 'vent' out my emotions since I have no other way in really doing so. Some of you ARE STILL asking me to be your boyfriend/girlfriend. I WILL NOT BE IN ANY RELATIONSHIP ON THIS SITE AND IF I GET ANY MORE MESSAGES ALONG THIS I WILL BLOCK YOU AND REPORT YOU. SIMPLE AS THAT. I will be MORE THAN HAPPY to be friends with you, but I TREAT YOU HOW YOU TREAT ME. I WILL NOT SPOON-FEED YOU BECAUSE YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND LEARN MAGIC YOURSELF. If you have ANY problems where you want to talk to someone I AM HERE AND I WILL GIVE AN OPEN EAR, but DO NOT THINK THAT I WILL SUGARCOAT THINGS. I'll tell you things how they are and sugarcoating is basically lying.
Once again, if anyone has a problem with the profanity just let me know and I'll kindly take it off and replace it.
To those of you that contact me by email (Gmail): I haven't been reading messages because it takes a long time to open up (internets going slow) so I'm just going to log out and see if I have better luck in a few days or so.
To those of you that contact me by Kik: The newer updates of Kik crash my phone every time I open. It seems like the only way it won't crash me is by using wifi (I mostly use cellular data) so you can still send me messages there, but don't expect an immediate response.
To those of you that contact me by text (SMS): Again, my cellular data plan is limited and minutes are getting low, sometimes when the limit goes out I can still get messages but I cannot respond to them. If you have a phone that shows when messages are read DO NOT THINK I AM IGNORING YOU because I'm not. Also, DO NOT CALL ME. Most of the time when someone calls I cannot hear, I'm busy or can't talk. I NEVER call ANYONE. I can and only will ever text.
To those of you that contact me by Facebook/Facebook Messenger: I AM RARELY ON. I still have my account but I hardly ever go on Facebook or Facebook Messenger anymore. You can contact me on here via mail and we can work something out.
Tuesdays seem to be more depressing than Mondays.
Going to work, I will probably pull out my phone to read messages from time-to-time tonight. If you send a message you may or may not get a fast reply so if I take a while to get back to you I'm in the middle of work.
I still do not have a schedule of when and when not I am working, I do know though that I only work for a few more weeks then I go back to school.
Feeling much better :)
*I DO NOT cast spells and do favors for ANYONE on this site, if you are planning to mail me to flirt, ask me out, role-play, ask for me to preform spells and do favors for you DO NOT BOTHER TO MESSAGE ME. I WILL IGNORE AND BLOCK YOU.* thanks.
I AM LOYAL TO MY BOYFRIEND AND I WILL NEVER CHEAT OR USE HIM. I DON'T HAVE ROMANTIC FEELINGS OVER THE INTERNET AND WILL NEVER GAIN ANY ROMAMTIC INTENTIONS AND FEELINGS TO RANDOM STRANGERS.
Someone near and dear to me has passed away this morning. I'm not really wanting to talk to anyone for the next few days so please don't send me any messages.
RIP Maria, I love you so much. I was very blessed to have you as a older sister and you have taught me a lot of things I'll never forget. You made me happy when I was sad and when I was feeling good you did your best to keep me that way. You fought life hard because you was never the type to give up easily and because of that it's the reason I'm still here. You taught me to never give up and to enjoy every bit of life. These past 2 years have been hard for you because of fighting septic shock and other issues but you never gave up. While I'm typing this I still remember telling you at the hospital last year that I want to see you walk and do everything that you used to do, I knew you could do it. You proved the last few months here on earth that you could do it and I'm so proud of you. As much as I hated to see you go I know now you are happy and you have no more pain. So I'm going to be happy and joyful because I know that's what you want from all of us. I wished I told you when you was still with us that I loved you and that I'll be alright but I didn't get the chance so I wrote this to kinda feel better. I guess now that I'll be raising Sandy for the next few years until she's gets to collage and at the moment it sounds strange to me that I'm her oldest sister. I'll be fine and I'll make sure Sandy turns out to be a great adult in the years to come like you've wanted out of us both. I love you so much and you'll always be in my heart forever.
I'm moving on from the past and accepting the future.
Yeah, really, I'm done with the past. I'm sick of it. I began to realize that I lived on the past and because of that I never was able to let go of things. Ever since I was little I had a hard time forgetting certain things and always was the one to worry. It's mentally draining and it's better off to live life in happiness and freedom, even if it means moving on from people and parting away from things that makes moving on challenging.
I have talked to alot of you here on SoM, and I've made a lot of great friends here too, but I have had bad moments on here, I've done things I've shouldn't of and because of it I have lost a few friends, but I've moved on. There's been people on here that have changed my life for the better, gave me the positivity that I now share with you all, helped me when I was at my breaking point and thinking giving up life was the only option and just gave me daily inspiration. For all of the things that you all have done, even if you may think you've done little or nothing at all. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Although pretty much of my memories here so far have been good ones, there has been the bad ones, of course. With those it made me stronger, it made me hate, but I would rather now turn the negative things here into positive ones. I have said things here and there I shouldn't of