|Hello, my magickal name is Kay. I have been a practicing ecletic solitary witch for just over a year now, although, I have read and researched off and on since I was little. I have been drawn to the Craft for as long as I can remember.. hereditary?... I'm not sure--my father used to practice when he was younger, and we have had conversations of many things, but never about why he stopped practicing. Now, his memory is foggy, so I've let it be. Though that has not stopped my aunt and myself from working on our family tree. Who knows what we'll find!? My gandfather, on my mothers side practiced as well, it's too bad that I never had a chance to meet him in person as he passed before I was born. I also have an aunt who read Tarot, but our family has been so scattered that reunions and such are nigh on impossible, she also passed before we could "really" meet as I was too young to remember her. With all that said, I assume that it is passed down through my family, it is all still very puzzling as we were none of us practicing together, nor a family coven, more just a few ancestors here and there, but again with no idea how far back, or who that leads to.
I would like to say I have Empathic abilities in-part for the following reasons: I find when I am near my closest family/friends I can feel their emotions the strongest.. to the point that my chest feels heavy, or like it is being squeezed...makes for hard breathing. Especially when angry, but also when sad. It's strange how, one moment, I'm happy go lucky, and when my friend walked into my apt its like the mood audibly popped, I had this wave of weight, and simmering anger crash over my body. All I had to say, w/o even looking at her was that she needed to put her shield up while I "scrambled" (Still new to shielding) to do the same. When I am out and about, it is harder, but more so in smaller spaces...like on a bus for example.. I always have music going to focus on and drown out the emotional upheaval. I don't recall always having others emotiones intruding in on my own, but I have always been an emotional person, a compassionate person, and very intuitive at times... but is it that I am feeling these emotions because of empathetic abilities or is it an unconscious-selective connection to certain ppl through psychic/intuition? Maybe I am just discovering the beginning of something great. I do not know, but I am definitely going to learn what I can to hone this gift, if indeed I do posses it... however, I was recently told that I may have a future in the Psychic/Intuitive Workings. That this is where my talents lay, so at the moment I am confused as to whether this is were the emotions and everything else I feel stems from or whether it is in fact empathy. I just know that regardless I will do my best to learn and understand it.
I just recently bought The Gilded Tarot by Ciro Marchetti, this is my frist deck, and one that drew me to it. I say that it had drawn me to it because as I was in the shop looking through a binder of cards (no title names, no artist names visable) I kept returning to a certain page near the back, so I asked the clerk which deck it was, and bam the frist deck I was looking at when I had initially entered the store, but bypassed to see everything the shop had to offer. Very interesting how that works, as I have had it happen on multiple occasions while purchasing stones, which is something else I am trying to learn more about.
I crave knowledge, I want to learn and grow during this journey. While I don't have a complete understanding of other areas of paganism, I would love to learn more about them. This is only the beginning, and I am so glad that I have a place to work on me, while still feeling comfortable in my own skin. To learn from others that have practiced far longer then I, and to get to know others in the community in general. It's tough working alone, or even with only one other person (aforementioned friend) that understands you for who you are.
Thank you to all who have taken the time to read this scattered bio of mine. I am glad to be here, and am looking forward to talking with you more in the future.