|ACCEPTING WITH CAUTION
I feel as though my heart is aching, my mind is spinning, and my body is weightless.
Love has entered my life with such speed that I grow confused. I have loved before, yet I have been crushed by its hidden secrets.
I am now seduced by its beauty and its passionate kiss. It pierces my heart like a sharp dagger that yearns for blood.
Although its flame burns me, it quenches my thirst for life and I long for it daily. The pain that comes with it haunts me, yet the peace that it brings comforts me.
So I stand at the crossroad of opportunity. I am being graciously nudged to give it another chance, so I move with caution. Even though I may move slowly, I am willing to allow it to embrace me and take me further than I have ever been. ------
Revised November 2010
Edited with meaning:
Only I?m F@#$%d!!
I think I feel the rage inside me once again trying to claw its way out! Confusion and fear is desperately raising its destructing head. Desperation and failure will not stop screaming in my ears.
Although the pain of regret pierces my heart, I bust my ass to keep smiling. It sometimes becomes too much to bear, and I struggle to find release so I will not hurt anyone with my unnecessary words. I choose to remain in silence. I am not insane; I just want to state my opinion.
I was alone in this corner of my once fucked up mind. I am the only one than can fix this torment, and I?ll be damned if I mess up the ones who love me!
REAL Love has finally found me. It took a long time, almost an eternity. I will go to the extreme to keep that love no matter what it takes.
Now I am taking advantage of the love that has been given to me so willingly. What can I say? What can I do? All that I have tried is falling apart.
Now it comes to this?..which I do not understand?
The slurring whisper of Death speaks in my dreams so much more now than ever. It does not surprise me that its voice is stronger, because I have now found true love. But that is the way it goes is it not? Ones like me and all we might have done or what we have been through, we are only able to experience happiness for only a short time. Because we REAP what we SOW!!!!