|First off, I am not new to SoM. This account is to be used instead of my previous account, although I will still check back there when I have the time. Why? I have grown out of my old self, so to speak, and wish to move on. I am also slightly ADHD :P.
Please do not bother me with mail sent without a subject, nor with 'Hi, how are you?' as the main content. Those messages will be deleted on sight without further consideration. Thank you for your understanding.
I would appreciate it if you did not message me unless you know me already. However, if you have any questions or need guidance I am more than willing to provide it. If, for whatever reason, I cannot help you myself, I will point you in the direction of somebody who can.
I am always willing to help. I do not bite... often. :P
My name is Kami. Kami is Japanese for 'spirit', although it is more commonly associated with 'god' or 'deity' in the Shinto faith. Furui means 'old' in Japanese also. I have chosen Japanese names because I have a passion for both their culture and I love manga ^^. Why have I given myself a name? Words such as 'awakening', 'enlightenment', and 'harmony' would normally be thrown about in this situation, however, not one word will ever be sufficient to both balance and describe any one feeling nor mental state. This is because everyone sees things differently.
No matter what people say, words are never as powerful as the feeling they conjure. Who am I to say this? Whatever you choose to believe is up to you, and I refuse to contest that. It is your right, not as a human, but as a mind, a spirit, a 'being'. I am an old spirit, born into a world devoid of emotional vivacity in the name of power and words. I have seen what hunger, lust, and corruption are capable of causing in the name of honour. Karma has a pretty unique way of making things work out in that kind of environment, and so everything in that universe died in the names of hate, war, victory, revenge, and prophecy. The irony of prophecy is that once it is spoken, those involved within it with the ears to the finer details will always make it so. Prophecy is a concept, both as true and as fraudulant as destiny, fate, and wyrd, as neither and all are purely nothing more than factors of probability. *pink elephant*
I guess there are many of us with spirits from another world, whether that be an alternate universe, a different plane, or even a parallel one. Some of them claim to be therian or otherkin. I personally prefer a less fluffy version of terminology. Refugee. The important thing many choose to skip around is the fact that you are that spirit. Spirit and mind are two parts of a whole. They make up who you are, while your soul is more your life force. However you choose to understand it, my point still stands. You can not claim to be a werewolf, a demi god, an elf, elemental, dragon, fae of all kinds, or whatever you will, if you then fall back on the safety of this physical reality. You are who you are, you do not need to hide nor lie to yourself. Sorry if my words caused offence, only know that this is how I percieve life. Based on my own experience, you will always feel better (this is what I believe many refer to as wellbeing) when you cease to lie to yourself. When you achieve that, you can handle anything. Trust me.
I fear I have gotten terribly off topic. For any confusion caused, I must apologise. I have a short attention span, although I do feel the information relevant (I may edit it out later :3).
Back on refugee, what I am trying to say is that there are people here from other places. Their spirits are recycled, to use a blunt choice of words, and many are lost and lonely. I am not justifying all fluffs, because seriously, there are quite a few, nor am I making myself important. My issue is not many people accept why they are here in the first place. Back on refugee, I have been a refugee, so to speak, my entire existance. I do not mean I have been reincarnating here for so long, although that is true for the latter part, only that I have been brought up 'off world' (on a different plane or 'world' from the one to which I was born). This sounds very far fetched, however, where I came from didn't make much sense. I know what it is like to be alone, to be the alien, to be loathed and scolded for what you are and where you come from. I have been the pet, called out for service when the moment requires it and forced to bare the brunt of an unforgiving society in a universe whos policies and discrepancies I resent. The family who took me in failed to treat me like an equal because they had issues with where I came from and linked every fault in my behaviour to that place, while the race I was meant to be related to loathed me for being the traitor. I have no memories of happiness, no ideal life to draw strength from. My past is filled with despair, frustration, hurt, rage... the list goes on. I have not done anything to put credit to my name, and yet many to create black marks upon my record.
A monster, dear friends, is not a creature born in another world, persecuted for the way they look and where they were born. A monster is not a bad dae'mon, nor a terrifying spirit trying to take over your life. You must leave behind your naivity and see that everything, no matter how small and insignificant, has a right to live. Not only that, but they have a right to fight for it by any means necessary.
There is no such thing as black and white magick either. Fear driven control, yes, but the only things to truely define your path are both your motivation and your intended goal. If you set out to kill and hurt all the people in the world to make them feel what you have felt, that does not necessarily make the magick bad. It is not the best thing to do, but, to be honest, I have come close.
The whole point of this lecture, for those of you still with me, is to get out some long standing points I have found that many choose to step over and block from thought. It is important because it is how I feel; my view is based on what I have seen and how the people meant to be doing good are the true barers of the title Monster. Equality and fairness are the real faerie tale. Just because someone is in power, that does not make them right nor worthy. It does not justify what they do and what they say they stand for, nor does it stand as grounds to shed the light of darkness on those opposing them. Close your eyes, not your mind. Leave yourself open to every angle of the story. For as even a god can not predict the future, neither do they bare immunity from the harsh truths of reality. Nobody is infallible. So saying, every god must fight with every passing moment to retain their right to their title, otherwise, what would be the use of them?
I was cynical, hurt, frustrated, afraid. I am not running away any more. For once in my existance I am doing something for myself. I am not afraid of anything and nothing can hurt me. I am balance. I am harmony. My real name, for those of you who do not know me, is an aspect I am going to leave behind. I hate what that name brings out in me, all the horrible consuming feelings of despair and hurt, and the terrifying blind rage writhing beneath the surface. I will not forget it, nor do I regret the innumerable things I have done. I have taken in my emotions and learnt to let them go. I used to think harmony and balance were a load of old bard crap, but trust me, that is far from the truth. It is unhealthy to be as angry and in such despair as I have been. On the other end of the stick, those so shallow and grinny happy and gay about everything are really scary. Neither are good for the being as a whole. Due to my negativity, I need to take in a lot of 'positive energy' to counteract that. I have released a lot of 'negative energy' but to reach the balanced state I have found aspects and feelings within myself that are positive. I have not forgotten all the things that have caused me pain, but bound them within me to make me stronger. I know this sounds cliche, but if I could share with you my memories then you would understand. I only ask that you trust me. The moment you are at peace with yourself and who you are you become invincible. It is the most incredible feeling in the universe.
While we are on the topic of energy (just to back track for a moment, feel more than obliged to skip this bit if you are still here at all ^^), I feel there is something... wrong is not the correct word but for the moment it will serve as thus. Energy as far as I can feel it is neither negative nor positive. Energy is everywhere and everything. Energy can not be created nor destroyed, but merely alters state. Saying people are negative and positive and that they carry these states as energies is fine to the point where you differentiate the two. But when people define them, it makes it seem as though if your mother died when you were born and your father kept beating you over and over and then one day you ran away when he was really mad and he hunted you down and tried to kill you, and you spent the rest of your life defending yourself from everything in the entire universe because to you trust is a direct path to agony... the point is, you can not label and define someone just because they haven't had a great start, because they aren't wired 'the ideal way'. They are okay in their own way. So, in fairness, I wasn't. But not many people are as damaged as I am.
Haha.... I just read over that... I guess in summary of that longwinded choice of words, a name is just a way of distinguishing one thing from another. If anything, they only serve as windows to the true power.
To the important stuff, :P I talk a lot in text, it is kind of my communication medium ^^.
Element (aka elemental state): Spirit.
Home Element: Fire.
Star Sign Element: Water (Scorpio).
My favourite thing to do as a kid was play outside, in the dirt. I used to pretend to be all sorts of creatures, and went on adventures to all kinds of places. I love feeling the earth between my toes and letting it sift through my fingers. Tree climbing was another childhood pastime too. :P
When I was in my life (I still see everything else as part of death, but death is not the end of anything, it only marks the ending of the dramatically long era that is my first life) I was a shapeshifter. My element was fire because that was the elemental polarity of the world I was born into. I do not know of my 'true form' (original form) however, deep down I believe I do not really have one. I assimilate into my environment and that is only another link to harmony, balance, and the 'spirit' state. I am associated with one form as it is what the people of that reality looked like. It does not mean that is who I am. ^^ I used to also be both female and male. Only, I am more associated with being male.
Favourite Symbol: Yin Yang, Spirit (in pictures).
Favourite Colour: Blood red, dark purple, ebony.
Favourite Music: Tool, Korn, Muse, Prodigy, Placebo, A Perfect Circle, Massive Attack (Heligoland is an awesome album ^^), and heaps more.
Interests: Reading, drawing, writing stories and poetry, playing bass (I haven't for a while and I am not very good). I aim to learn Japanese, Russian, and Icelandic (Old Norse).
Spirit Guide/s: Elementals. Water, Earth, Fire, and Air. They are still a part of me, like different aspects of my personality (example: emotional and spontaneous, passive and grounded, temper and power, boyancy and humour. - very loose example, of course, as elements and mental states are intechangeable). I believe that to some people they see theirs as a construct in the form of an animal, or an element, or whatever they see fit. Only, by what I see, they are still you. A part of your spirit. Everything is connected, and the elements are certainly no strangers to that.
Abilities: Clairvoyance (clairsentience and claircognisance inclusive), precognition, shielding/protection, basic illusion magick. (I should not have to say this, but for the record, No, I cannot shapeshift, I may have that in the spirit worlds but my body is human and the laws of physics on this plane are different from other places. Although one of my favourite forms is a dragon. I admire them, they are so elegant.) I am still relatively new to magick in practice, however, I know the theory and I know how the mind works. I am also an energy vampire. I feed off negative energy mostly, although true happiness is twice as powerful. I also take energy from the elements, aka the world around me. Radiation is everywhere too, but that energy is not very good unless you channel it to pass around you (a bit like not directing lightning through your heart).
Currently Learning: Chakra Meditation (although not really by following many traditional methods, as with my grounding technique), Lucid Dreaming, Astral Projection, Divination (Runes and Tarot - I have an Oracle of Shapeshifters deck), Aura Reading and Meditation.
Advice is free:
Opening your chakras is a very good exercise and brings you 'together', healing or removing you of base emotions that are causing blockages to your swirling pools of energy. Balance. It's worth it. ^^
Honesty is important. You do not have to tell a person everything, but there is no need to make something up to shield yourself. Dance around the truth, by telling even the smallest of facts in a convoluted manner. You will find your honesty acts as a powerful shield, for only the skilled, wise, old, and intelligent may hold the powers to see through them. ^^ This is a basic trick to defend yourself, while holding a warm hand out to those who truely deserve your friendship. Understaning is the most powerful asset in any one person's arsonal. Without it, how can anybody claim to be a friend?
I leave you with a quib:
Take the joy out of being alive and all you will ever be left with is a lie.
(Note: mail me if you get this! ^^)
How many of you got the pink elephant joke?
Credit: My profile image came from the following site -
"True power is the ability to hold lives in the palms of your hands and the will power to let them go unscathed." - Unknown
"The Universe is huge and ridiculous, and sometimes impossible things happen and we call them miracles." - The Doctor
If anybody finds any spelling mishaps, please nudge me. ^^ I need glasses. :3