First, I know the name is kind of funny. I used pickles because that's what I had and though I doubt it was powerful enough for this, the intent was death, hence the name. Second, this has nothing to do with voodoo. A couple friends elsewhere seem to think anything related to curses and dolls is related to voodoo, so I'd like to address that now out of respect for that as a closed practice I have no part in. Lastly, though again I doubt it was powerful enough for this, I knew I was acting with the intent to kill someone. I spent months, maybe a full year, debating this with myself and overanalyzing every moral angle. I had to decide whether or not I could really be at peace with whatever happened to them, and if the consequences to myself would be worth it. Unfortunately my most recent bout of seasonal depression made it easier, and I'm at peace with my decision. Please note that while I will share how I did the curse, the primary purpose is to share the overall experience and hopefully give others planning something like this some idea what to expect.
The curse itself was simple. You put toothpicks in a pickle to make arms and legs, making a sort of pickle doll. Use this to represent your target, and pour all your anger and pain into it as you chop it into small pieces, or tear it apart, or destroy it any way you want. Then it's probably best to bury it but I didn't have that option, so I just threw it away. It'll rot either way.
I poured nine years of anger into it, and afterwards, there was none left. It fueled the curse. But I didn't feel happy like I thought I would. I didn't want to celebrate or feel a weight off my shoulders or anything like that. I just felt numb. That was three nights ago. Two days ago, I spent the entire day processing how I felt, cycling through guilt and sadness until it ended with me feeling peaceful for it. It felt like a debt repaid. Yesterday felt awful, trapped in depression bad enough, I considered some things I won't mention here. I fell asleep crying. Today I honestly feel okay. Not good, not bad. Just okay. I don't know for sure if I will have any more to pay for this, but I wouldn't be surprised if I do.