Agreed. Change your picture to one less sexy or loveable. And keep profile to magick more than personal. It should help. And the bloch feature works wonders.
Re: What I Don't Like By: Personified / Knowledgeable
Post # 6 Oct 10, 2014
You got gagged for cussing in the chatter and calling a member out by username, Eyes- not for saying someone was threatening you. This isn't about your gag so please remember that it's best not to bring up gags in public. If you have a question about it, you can ask me.
Changing your picture can help. I don't think it's fair, however, that those of us who enjoy showing ourselves in our profile pictures should have to feel that we must use an avatar to keep unwanted mails away. I would suggest blocking members who attempt to send flirtacious mail, and mailing a moderator to report when members are inappropriate towards you. That's about the best you can do.
I agree, MaidenCrow you shouldn't have to change your picture or make any adjustments for annoying people.
Just because somebody looks nice doesn't mean that they look that way for the sole purpose of somebody else. Looks aren't everything, not everybody is at the place in their lives where flirting is the thing to do, certainly not everybody is here for that... and look before you leap, those are all things that these annoying people have got to learn.
Okay, thank you you guys. I admit I have a gorgeous picture of myself as my avvie, but it's a selfie I took in the car on the way to meet my boyfriend to go to prom. I chose that as my avvie for a lot of other sites because I know I look gorgeous. I have thought about changing it to aomwthing more recent and I don't want to have to change it to another one of my drawings. My photos are all private and the only one that's of me is my avvie. But thank you guys for all your help. I was mostly just complaining and trying to tell people to read my bio BEFORE trying to hook up with me.
Cuz I don't do that stuff. And I didn't know we weren't supposed to cuss but I mostly cuss when verbally speaking and generally don't have a reason to do so on SoM.
sorry to hear that. its even happened to me a few times. the first time it happened my boyfriend was in the room, he found it funny, i didn't. it only happens to me on occasions, but if it's a weekly or monthly thing, i would put a disclaimer stating you are not here to flirt, or for a relationship, you are here to learn. you will still get the occasional person who will message you [so i suggest making it the first thing on your profile, bold, and underlined] but it will cut down on a lot of people. if anyone does message you asking to date or whatever, block them, don't reply. blessed be ^_^
Thank you Nekoshema. It seems whenever I post a picture if myself on anything other than Facebook (where only people I've met see it) or Twitter (where no one gives a flying fladoodling carebear), I always get inappropriate or overtly flirtatious messages, even when I'm talking about my boyfriend. I used to get pictures of penises all the time on an anonymous app (not to mention a little big of bullying) whenever I said something that was like a secret (which was the point of the app) or I just had a pic of myself. Even if my bf was in the pic with me I would get that. It just got to the point to where I had to block over half of the people that messaged me on there. Luckily, on SoM, it's not that bad. So far, I've not been bullied nor have I been sent pictures (I don't know if you can do that here anyways). But I have had people message me who obviously didn't read my profile. Thankfully, it's all been rather mild. Though this one guy asked if I was a vampire and said he thought I was because I was beautiful... >.< I'm sorry, but thinking about it now, aside from the beautiful part, it sounds rather offensive. I don't intentionally try to suck the life out of people. But I digress.
Grr, argh, patriarchy. Or, I guess now it would be kyriarchy.
What I have to say about that would veer way off-topic, but since we're all magic-wielders here, I think it's important to define and examine the nature of power wherever that applies, whether physically, or metaphysically... or socially.
Most people are just frankly conditioned by society to respect women a lot, lot less than men when it comes to personal boundaries. That's called objectification, and it's got demographic statistics to back this up as a real thing, having to do with systematic inequality in society.
Usually, "I have a boyfriend" would shut people down but even that would be problematic because that would show that the people making such advances cared more that you were like somebody else's "property" rather than that you, as a human being with feelings and a life, were not interested . And if they don't even care about that, well, that's just so narcissistic that you'd best leave them alone to flirt with themselves since it obviously doesn't make a difference what their target's life is like.
That's interesting, Aeons_Wing. I actually thought that women weren't as respected as men, but you're right that they tend to be objectified more. Even I tend to objectify other women a lot, even though I don't really mean to and I find pretty much all women beautiful. Also, and interesting note on the property thing. In the United States, which is where I live, women weren't legally more than chattel until somewhere around the 1920's and 30's. And the reason it happened then instead of later is the civil rights movement (which took a few decades to complete) and people like Alice Paul advocating for equality. And just because I belong to my boyfriend doesn't mean I'm his property. He, as well, belongs to me, but he is not just some plaything of mine; he's an actual human being whom I love and care for very much in quite a few ways. I know there are people out there who treat those who they are supposed to love as property. And I hate that. I've been in a semi controlling relationship before and it wasn't very pretty. It wasn't a romantic relationship or anything, but still, it was abusive and caused me to abuse myself. But I digress. People just send whatever they want no matter how inappropriate to beautiful women with great faces or great bodies on the internet. I remember talking to a very beautiful girl on here, but I don't think I've told her how beautiful she was, because I was more interested in the things we were talking about, which had a lot to do with magick and the covens on here. I wasn't talking to her to flirt, I was talking to her for information and friendly conversation. And that's how the mail system should be on SoM. I'm positive that that may be what it was built for. Just another way to spread information and knowledge that are at least somewhat related to the site.
