I call on you all to take the time to be selfish. Say no to others that need your help. Take time to be by yourself and to do that which you alone want to do. Lay in bed an extra 20 minutes, take a long bath or shower. Go sit in the great outdoors and just be.
We are told constantly that to be selfish is wrong. We are expected to disregard our wants and desires for the benefit of others, be it family, friends, or those less fortunate than ourselves. To say "no" is considered being mean and selfish. To choose not to help out a family member and instead sleep late is selfish and wrong. We are guilted into doing things we don't want to do so that others do not think poorly of us.
I call bologna! We owe ourselves moments of selfishness to rekindle that which drives us through this life. We owe our family and friends assistance when it is done out of love and compassion, not guilt. We must take the time to care for us, to have our own down time so that we can recuperate and regain the energy we have shared with others.
A choice to stay home and rest instead of take the long drive to a friend's house and help them with a project should not be seen as selfish and wrong, but as loving of ourselves. We do for others because we love and care. Yet we don't do for us becuase it is seen as selfish and uncaring of others. Hog wash! Doing for oneself is the greatest gift one can give to those they love. If we do not care for ourselves how will we have the ability to help others? If we don't take the time to rest and care for our wants and desires we will become burnt out and be unable to help another.
Not having the time to do for those less fortunate than ourselves is not a bad thing. It is a sign that we know our limits and that we respect them.
Now I am not saying that to be selfish all of the time is a good thing. I am talking on occassion, depending on how your life is once or twice a month, or once or twice a week. It is up to you how often to take the time and do something selfish for your benefit. Also take into account how important the request for help is. If my Grammother is stranded on the side of the road, yeah I'm going to get her. If she wants me to come visit because I didn't last week, well, I might not.
As practitioners of magick we know that the more energy we put into a spell the better it works. We also know the more energy we put into the spell the more tired we become. We at times choose not to do a working becuase we are under the weather or are mental and physically too tired to do it. Doing for family and friends is no different. We expend energy in the working. Doing too much for them leaves us with little energy for the other things we must do. So apply to helping others in the mundane what you would apply to helping in magick. Take the time to rest between occassions of helping.
Also, think about who you are helping and how often they have helped you. If you are always giving to them yet not recieving anything perhaps they are the ones you should start saying no to.
As you begin to find the line between helping and selfish acts that you find comfortable for yourself, you will begin to see a change not only in the way you feel about yourself but also in the amount of requests and the importance of them that you receive.
I really loved reading this Niche. It's quite a bit to think about.
I tend to take off a few days a month to myself if at all possible. Sometimes I'll continue to do a normal routine thing (like brush my teeth, make dinner, etc), but I'll keep whatever of the day I can for myself. It has given me moments to release my stress and allow myself to become more comfortable in my own skin without worrying (at my age I'm still figuring myself out). I fully agree with the need to be selfish once in a while. ;)
