Alright I gotta be honest, I think I maybe going insane.
In the past months I keeping feeling something around me that is just...Unnatural.
What I mean is that these past three months I can't help but feel like someone is following me and watching me,especiallyin my bedroom at night or in the fields, when it is impossible that there could be anyone near me. The being followed feeling started right after my body went completely numb for four days straight, now in the past month I keep contemplating suicide.
-something I would never want!!
The problem is that I'm terrified of myself and every time the thoughts of suicide come into my mind, It seems like something I'm being told to do. But then later when the thoughts have passed- I have no desire to kill myself and I can think of a hundred reasons not to.I still feel that weird numbness on parts of my body around the same time as the reaccuring thoughts and thats why I'm afraid this is something not normal. I was hoping that someone had ever heard of something similar even in the least to my case and could tell me what's going on and how to stop it.
It could be spiritual and i would suggest a strong cleansing of the house but most importantly I think you should get professional help. Not trying to be rude but it could help you better than we can
thank you for reading and replying, and I will look into a cleansing for my home, and yes I am recieving counseling. I don't know what the problem is exactly, but I always go on my gut instincts, that's why I came here and posted this. If anyone else has an idea of what may be going on I urge you to post.
I'm not so shure about the counseling unless you are in a large
group of people or can do it on line so you have verifyable
doccumentation of what you have said and what advice is given.
If for some reason you are having unnatural urges I would suggest
a change of scenery as well as a change in your diet.
Try drinking bottled water instead of tap water
and wear clothing made from 100% cotton instead of from
synthetic fibers.stay in public places as often as possable.
You don't have to hang out with anyone or anything just keep
yourself surrounded by plenty of witnesses so if you have any
strange feelings that are in contrast to your usual personality
you will have people around to see what may be the cause and effect.
They will also be able to observe if there any strange lights
or sounds or anything else that might be unusual as well.
Take the time to meditate and reflect on your life to see if there are any unmet needs or wants or if you have any regreats
of things in the past,misstreatment,any remores of how people percieve you
Do this fast so you don't harp on it.
Don't dwell on the regreats or you will become even more depressed.
If for some reason this feeling continues in your new surroundings try to remember as many details you can
of your surroundings and circumstances as you can and
write it on the internet in a blog or a myspace page
then put it out of your head and carry on your daily
doings.
If you write what you feel as you feel it than you will
have a much more accurate account of the situation than
going back to the event in memory.
Though counseling is a good idea
for the short term be very careful.
These are people who make a living
on the pain and suffering of others
and whatever you may be going through
at this time of vulnerability can be
coached and magnifyed into something
far worse that your original problem.
That's expecially true if you are a
victum of child abuse and child molestation
and have been brought to the psychiatrist
by the very people that are doing the abuse.
With the right doctor they can get any illness
they pay for.
You may be suffering from PTSD
Post Traumatic Syndrom Disorder.
This is something caused by a
traumatic event or events that
have happened in your life.
You could be reacting to a supressed
memory of an event or memories of events
that have happend in your life.
Though no one event by it's self may seem
to be entirely devistating by it's self
there could be an accumlitive effect of
many events of psychological trauma,
discontentions,sad and painful memories
that have been over come individualy but
not in the context of their entirity.
Make a list of your hopes and your dreams.
Now make a list of what may stand in the
way of your hopes and dreams.Now make a
list of what you can do to remove these
obsticles that stand in the way of your
hopes and dreams.
Write this into your myspace page and show
as many people as you can.Continue to work
twards your hopes and dreams.Are there any
new obsticles?Shout it out to the world!
i advise against actually eating sage, a tea maybe, but don't eat straight sage. If you have some sage burn it and waft the fumes over yourself. Also look into a purification bath, and protective amulets, or physic sheilding.
Thank you andback for really trying to help me and I will try those things. I know what you mean by those therapists this is my 3rd one because once I finish telling them my life story, they no longer care- and seriously, one time I had a conversation with my therapist about horses and just riding them for an entire hour, so obviously I stopped seeing that one.
Anyways, I'l try all this and some other spells including the sage thing (thanks ^-^) and see what happens.
