I know that magick is nothing like in TV and films but the desire for that is incredibly strong and it's causing my doubt about magick to greatly increase and causing confusion and I don't know what to do. Any advice?
Just like anything that provides you with an extreme experience, like high doses of sugar, caffeine, cocaine, movies are addictive and can warp your sense of reality by tricking your brain into believing that the emotions you feel while watching them are real. You're having movie magic withdrawal, and it sucks, truly it does; however there are some magical experiences that can be ten times better than movie magic, most of them being on the astral plane - which may sound like a cop-out but have you ever had a hyperrealistic dream that was better than a movie? I'd recommend getting good at it, but seriously speaking it takes a lot of work and you do have to earn it.
That in itself is a good thing though - in real life you have to work to have nice things and that's just it, and the quicker you stop fighting it (pointless) and start working (satisfying) the quicker you can start having fun again.
Also, if you really think about it, movie magic would be disastrous if it suddenly broke into this reality, as it is.
Imagine Trump or Hillary being able to cast the Cruciatus curse.
*shudder*
To me the astral plane is where your conscious mind can visit but doesn't seem that different from a dream whereas what most people crave is being able to physically experience something
true, but sadly reality isn't as wondrous as film. there's the facts, and then there's the hearsay formed centuries ago about transformation, flying on broomsticks, and consorting with the devil. far more interesting than reality where we meditate for hours and work with a subtle invisible force of nature you have to feel [especially in a visual narrative like movies, this would be mighty boring] sad, but this is the reality of growing up, you can keep a spark of childlike wonder, but you need to separate reality from fantasy. real magick is something thats subtle, and you feel the energy, not see it. try more energy work to feel the flow of energy, but unfortunately this is something you need to experience and decide for yourself.