Religon and the divine will not punish you internally or eternally if you are following your heart. Most of that fire and brimstone you shall burn in the pits of hell were created by man to get people to follow and do what they were told. Follow your heart. I believe as long as what you are following and doing does not cause someone harm then you are good. You can still be Christian and practice magic. Jesus and Moses did it...lol. As stated above that why it's called faith. One does not know what the truth is and if there is a correct way.
I have been having conflicting feelings about religion myself. I am christian and have been going to church regularly for about the past year. I had been having some tough personal issues to deal with and decided to strt going to church to give my spirit a boost.
Some years ago I practiced Wicca and felt very at peace with myself and my surroundings, life was good. Cant really pinpoint why or when just sort of drifted away form it.
Fast forward to the present, going to church just hasnt touched my soul like "magick" did. I have decided to start tapping into my inner power again to help navigate this thing called life. My higher power is still there, dont get me wrong, and I will continue to go to church, I do enjoy the atmosphere. However, I think practicing rituals and spells gives me more focus. I believe whatveer path feels right to you is what path you should take.
If God is all loving as He say He is, than he will not punish you for thinking outside of "church box" limitations bring questions and answer can be found if you want true belief in your God.
Don't be afraid place of eternal pain does not exist. Just be kind, and not selfish greedy and evil, growing your spirituality will not anger your God, He will be pleased with you.