Reconcile or Revenge

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Reconcile or Revenge
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Post # 1
I am at a rough spot. I have been reading each thread in regards to the revenge spell and similar spells. Each has an understood "Is it worth it?" Disclaimer to the post. I understand the ramifications and want to discuss my situation. As i have expended every resource to reconcile the issue by talking and even trying to move on.

I was born with a curse. Maybe not a spell but it has followed me since i could remember. I love too strongly and it gets me set up for failure in our current world. Back to the point.

For the past six years i have been with and in love with someone. I gave everything i knew to show her i love her and she said she loved me too. We've had our fallings out and we always got back together still saying we loved one another. And every time i tried even harder to show her i was truthful in my feelings and intentions. She was always cynical and made me feel like it was just me bullshitting her. During this time i grew close to her nephew and mother and i felt at home there. My father has actually lived there for 8 years helping her mother and her out.

Moving to current events. She suddenly stopped talking to me. Last talk we had was what card to get our nephew for his birthday January 21st. After that i hadn't heard from her until last week.

She talked about our nephew and how he misses his uncle. We had split up months ago but it was always agreed on if one moved on we would let the other know. During this talk, she mentioned nothing. I found out via a friend on her Facebook that she has been with a guy for weeks. I even sent valentines day gifts (which my father said she loved and accepted the gesture even without her sending me anything) and here I am now. Destroyed, heartbroken. I lost everything from her and her way of doing things was so cold and all out evil i am in awe of the devastation. Because my father was lied to as well about this and he still stays there knowing what she did. I lost the woman i truly loved, my father, and a great nephew...

I am sorry for the long post but i wanted all of the details on the table because i am not a violent person by no means. But my blood is on fire, consumed by darkness and depression. I would rather fix things because i miss that family and i couldn't feel such hate unless there was a strong love that was betrayed. I lost everything and i know in my heart i could replace her. But all three of my most loved ones?

I need advice. This is my lowest point and need this girl to see her wrongdoing and save my family or to make sure she never plays games with peoples love, hopes and dreams again.

Thank you so much for reading.
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Re: Reconcile or Revenge
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Post # 2
I went through something somewhat similar a long time ago. I called our frequent spats "rough spots" as well. I poured myself into our relationship only to be treated badly.

She finally dumped me, by letting me know she had been sleeping with her 'next, as well as still sleeping with her ex. And come to find out she had slept with at least one other person while we were together, and had tried to sleep with several others as well.

I considered revenge in many ways. But letting go was the only right path for me. Accepting what was, learning, and moving on.
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Re: Reconcile or Revenge
By: / Novice
Post # 3
I had a similar situation years and years ago, long story short he was embarrassed to be seen with me and he was mentally/emotionally abusive. The relationship [if you want to call it that] finally ended in flames. It took years to get over the hurt, but revenge wasn't the answer for me. My friend and I talked about it but we both decided they weren't worth it [my ex ran off with my friends fiance] so we went about getting revenge by being happy and building the life we wanted. Right now my life is pretty perfect, and though I've never seen my ex in almost a decade a mutual friend of ours told me he's not doing great. Strange thing, I feel sorry for my ex. Always thought I would laugh. You might reach that point one day, and I know that sounds very strange.

Point is at your darkest moment revenge sounds fun, and perhaps you will conclude it's worth it, but it will create a bitter seed inside you. Yes, we need closure and to feel heard, and sometimes you feel that means making the person suffer and you suffered. But it's not. It's hard right now, but you should focus on yourself and build yourself back up. Never let this person back in your life. She has proven to be unfaithful a number of times. Regarding your family, I doubt they chose a side, it was getting stuck in the crossfire and remaining silent. Try talking to your father in a neutral area, alone, and as calm as possible.
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