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Forums -> Other Spells Discussion -> Re: Magickal Self Defense
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Original Post:
by: Ravec on Jul 26, 2018

It's been a long time since I've been here. A very long time, actually. In my time away, I've been through a lot of things. It seems that I may have picked up a curse or hex or just general bad mojo along my journey, and I'm having a difficult time banishing it or even just combating it. I need some advice or even help to get myself back to where I once was.

A bit of background, I suppose, is in order. A long while ago, I got involved with a real-life vampire group called House Rakoczy. There was a whole ordeal and back and forth about me being what they were looking for, whether or not I was upreshi (what they call vampires) or fae, and just general... dislike of me being there. Eventually I was granted the position of prospect and began to study their way of doing things. It was interesting, to say the least. But that isn't where this stems from, nor is it the reasoning for this post. I was living with one of their members, and another prospect, during my time with them. He became a long-haul trucker to support himself and his children through child support. During his travels, or maybe before, he met a woman who was a self-proclaimed Satanist. She followed Watain, a specific type of spiritual Satansim that follows the band of the same name and their beliefs. Mostly what I remember is that their music, and music in general, was their mass. Doesn't seem so bad at first glance, so I thought nothing much of it. But then he brought the woman back to our home. The feelings I got off of her were repugnant and vile, to say the least. Every single warning bell I had went off at once when she stepped through the door. But, hey, I was living with them for essentially free. I couldn't complain, and maybe it was a false alarm.
As time went on, she became more and more controlling. Even though she didn't live there, and neither the man or here were there for 9/10ths of the time, she felt as though she was the queen of the kingdom and picked on the other prospect that was in the house. A kerfuffle happened. I sided with the other prospect. At the end of it, both the other prospect and I were kicked out of both the house and House Rakoczy. This devastated her, but personally, I felt like I just dodged a bullet. After a small while, we fell out of contact.
Ever since then, however, I have failed to hold down a job for more than a few months (with one exception, when I was living with a self-proclaimed fae, I held a job for a little over a year. Lost it when I moved across the country and even they became control freaks) and even couldn't hold relationships for anything. I moved out of the country to be with a woman who's been in love with me for over five years. That fell apart after six months (according to her). I guess I'm at a loss here.

I've tried a lot of things, from banishing to warding, and things still stay the same. When I moved, I fell out of practice, generally just doing some things by habit (warding the house, cleansing the area once when I moved). Then I tried to celebrate a holiday, and things went sideways. My health hasn't always been the greatest, but it took a turn for the worse and has been even more poor since, and there's been a mold and bug infestation in the room where I tried to cast the circle (keep in mind, I only tried to cast a circle, and I couldn't even do that). Any advice? Or maybe a little help in figuring out what's going on?

Thank you for your time.