Magic Forums

Hi, I'm so happy i found this site on accident! Honestly, everything ive searched for, has been a ridiculous waste of time, energy, or money. Im unsure where to start about myself, my confusion is endless, and the only thing i am sure of is, i am a witch. Ive known since i was a little girl, probably around the age of 7, 8, that i was different than other people, and with each passing year, something new and/or different, would pop up. It only made things worse in my head, heading into puberty can be difficult enough, but adding fortelling abilities, that would happen at the drop of a hat, without any effort on my part, was starting to scare me. I remember trying to explain to my mom, searching for the right words, desperate that getting this off my chest, and having someone to confide in, would alleviate some of the anxiety. Instead, the complete opposite happened, which was my very reason for keeping quiet. She gave me that, "your crazy" look, and said, she thought i was being dramatic and trying to seek attention. After that, i didnt tell anyone again till i was in my 20's, and that was my sister, who incredibly, had known for years! Anyways,im not supposed to say i know more than what i truly do, fact of the matter is, i dont, i only know that i feel things happen to me that scare the living daylights out of me. By this i mean, whatever kind of witch i am, ive suppressed alot over the years, pushing it deep down. To end this long story of me, ill tell quickly an eerie thing that happened in my 40's. On a dating site, i received a message that said,"Why are you hiding your true self"? I knew what it meant, how i dont know, but pushing it aside because, in my head, he really wasnt asking what we both were thinking. Throwing it out there to see though, i asked him, How do you know this, cause weve never met, ever. His answer spooked me, "Cause a witch always knows a true witch, and you are hiding some very powerful witchcraft, that you should be embracing instead". We set up a public meeting at a local bar, nothing romantic was even initiated , was him wanting to help me, cause he said he could feel i was in need of it. At the meeting, he gave me a book on wicca, and i could tell he was far more knowledgeable and experienced than me. He specifically wanted me to know he understood my fear, saying i was right to feel that way cause, as i had suspected, had some abilities that were powerful, but if i learned about them, only then could i control and use them. Ive been running since then, for only one reason...Everytime ive tried to reach out for help i get told, im exaggerating...as if im that teenager again talking to my mom. Im not trying to brag, or say i know more than anyone, i am not! I only know what i feel, and being honest has got me nowhere! Others believed what i say, but to teach me will cost me alot of money. Ive been searching for another soul, like me, or people who can guide me, answer my zillions of questions, i am afraid to learn on my own, that is the truth, and im tired of apologizing for that, but i feel like to enter into witchcraft, with the strong abilities that are inside me, could hurt me or someone else. I hope, after telling this story, on many, many sites now, maybe this is the right one, and i can finally start being myself, being alone, watching people from the outside in, feeling like that needle in the haystack, maybe this is the haystack where i can find the rest of the needles! Thanks for reading about me, hope to chat, read and find many more interests here. Bye for now