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Original Post:
by: solarbaz on Nov 29, 2010

The Name is Anthony. Im new to all of this, but to better understand me is to go through my past and if you have the time I dont mind shareing.

I was raised in a family setting with my father and mother teaching me right and wrong and the moral's i should uphold along side my brother who is 3 years younger than me.

My family and I were inseparable my cousin's had my back no matter what. but when I moved everything changed. we were forced to live with a man I hated he was always power hungry and needed to control everything.

after so many years of this my father couldnt take it anymore and left, I know it killed him inside to do it but he told me he needed to get out and maybe he could create a safe place for us to come and see him.

after 2 months of the divorce drama he was killed in an accident, this devistated me and my brother my mother went crazy, he was the only person she ever truly loved but she was letting him go.

to this day my mother cant stop thinking about him and cry's on a day to day basis, it took me and my brother a year but we have finally accepted we will never be able to embrace him again.

(back to me) When he first passed on I felt horrible because everything I did was to make him proud because I could never be more proud of my dad he worked hard for everything he did and I planned to be just like him. But that didnt stop me from feeling hate for the person that caused his death.

all this time I have always felt like something powerful was inside me and when my anger rose at school I hurt someone with strength I didnt know I possesed.

after the year had passed I felt I had gained wisdom. I constantly think of my father and during one of my day dreams (which use to be filled with me using gifts to help people and gain popularity) I had seen my father. I vowed I would never hurt an innocent or kill out of no where and just like that I felt my anger dissipate and my need to hit things go away. I no longer cared what people thought of me and I felt like I could see clearly for the first time.

I am here now mostly out of my curiousity however I will tell you something is holding me back because in my head curiousity killed the cat is ringing.

Anyways thats my story and to tell you the truth I've never actually written it out like this before I just have a feeling I can express myself here.