Magic Forums

Good evening to all! I am posting on this forum, as I have had some very...odd experiences in my life, and I am starting to realize that there's much more beneath this flesh. There has always been a fascination with 'dark things' for me, much so that I have seen physical manifestations as a child and even some now (although more auditory than visual). I have always had the sense that there is this immense power I hold, as many people tend to have this 'fear' of me, and I also have had friends tell me that inside of me is 'a dark, black hollow with a small trimming of light'. Magic has always been a 'no-no', being raised by two self-proclaimed Christians, who in my opinion, seem mentally unstable. My definition of 'God' has varied, being a Christian, then Atheist, then Higher-Self, etc... and I am very confused. I have cast before, and the results, staggering. Sometimes I even scare myself! I just want to eliminate fears regarding the 'esoteric', and maybe some direction, regarding who or what I really am. People in public seem to also take notice of this 'side', and oftentimes go out of their way to help me or put me first in some reverent manner (which is odd to me). There is more to this tale, but I'd rather spare this forum my Dr Phil session, so I shall leave it at this: would someone kindly point me in the right direction, so I can have peace of mind, and harness this 'power' and figure out what's really going on in this 'physical' realm? Thank you all, namaste :)