how do I know when I'm using my energy through stuff or magic because even making a wand isn't helpful because it feels like I'm transferring my energy through it but when I open my eyes theres nothing how to know for certen that it works
A wand is merely a tool some people use for directing energy. Some of the books I'm currently reading insist on using a ritual dagger for the same purpose, though some even admit that the ritual tool is not completely necessary, and some adherents to the same traditions point with a finger, which is also acceptable.
There is nothing to physically see. The rituals involved in many cases do involve visualization, however. And the more solidly you can see something with your mind's eye, the better you can work with those specific ritual visualizations, and the better practices you are to create new mental images.
Also 'feeling' the energy transference is part of energy manipulation. There is no actual literal light or anything involved. It really comes down to belief, and personal experience.