The only thing that has taken a toll on your mind is the fact that you likely dove in head first instead of learning slowly and building yourself up. Mentality is everything. And it's important to have a strong sense of self and confidence and understanding in what you are doing.
So you messed up, what do you do? Go back to the basics and start from scratch. Learn to meditate, enter a trance without substances, and pick up a form a divination like scrying that builds your ability to focus and relax in an altered state. Being skilled in divination will also help you to prevent such bloopers in the future. Why? Well, most experienced practitioners do some form of divination prior to a ritual to be sure that they are approaching the situation in the right way, can see the situation clearly and that they are choosing the best method to accomplish their goal. Those are important. What to you may seem like backfire for practicing "black magick" is more likely poorly planned or poorly performed magick.