I suggest that before you begin doing spells, you read some articles on which prefered source of magic you would like, meditate,and watch a few videos. For example, some articles talk about "How the Moon Phrases affect your Magick." Furthermore, study EVERYTHING. Go really abroad. Learn all you can about the Magick you wish to learn. Go on "Chatter", introduce yourself, and explain your situation, as you did here. There are plenty of members from this site who would be happy to assist you.
With all due respect,