Thanks Jet and to the rest of you as well who answered me. Your repsonse seems to me to be very insightful. The woman did appear to have two sides to her as at first I saw the halo but then a bright red glow from the floor beneath her feet. She had a big, beautiful smile and her eyes bore deeply into my eyes for a long time. No one has ever done that to me to that extent before and I admit I felt like some helpless prey. Like a fly before a spider. She was shaking her left leg back and forth as she peered into my eyes. When I came face to face with her and she saw that I had no facial expression or didn't (could not) speak she did have a concerned look in her eyes so that would appear to impart a "goodness" on her part.
I myself have never encountered a demon, though this certainly does sound like one. Most entities we encounter lack a physical form, however I do believe it is still possible for a demon to temporarily take on human form. I don't think you have much to worry about, you did handle the situation very well considering. Your higher instincts (I think in meditation or hypnosis it's called the metaconsciousness) kicked in exactly when they should've and you avoided becoming fully entranced before it was too late. Your experience with mediation and possibly drugs (the former is still a far better route to take) may have even helped you build up a resistance to this succubus. Your overcoming the difficulties and challenges in life may have also strengthened your soul and given you the resolve for your instincts to take over.
While I'm very far from an expert on demons, I can assure you this one did not come from Hell. Heaven and Hell are the Christian interpretation of the afterlife, the cosmology of the astral plane is far more complex and very rarely so clearly separated between good and evil.
The morality of demons varies as greatly as that of humans, but there are some guidelines I've heard for meeting with them. First, you must never believe that they have power over you, if you do not believe in your heart that you can resist their magic, you will be vulnerable. Second, mark your territory and make sure they know you can see them for what they are, you can resist their power, and you are in control of the situation. Third, remain focused, aware, and in control of the situation, don't lose focus or concentration on what's happening. Fourth, above all else, have faith in yourself, no demon can overpower the will of a human unless we allow them to.
You are young yet your response to me appears nothing short of amazing.
I feel as if somehow I have been cursed by my rejection of that woman.
Despite my emotional/anxiety problems I believe I am a very grounded objective reasoning individual and as said am complety sober.
I have never had such a surreal experience with any other individual in my entire life as I did with that woman. In fact there isn't even any experience that comes close.
What is especailly strange as I think about it all is that this woman seemed designed personally for me because she matches all my physical desires in a woman. Even her very eyes which is at the essence of our encounter seemed to be like mine.
As said previously she stared deeply into my eyes and that is all she ever looked at and it was if she controlled me and I couldn't look at anything but her eyes.
Initially I did see her in her entire form from a distance of about 25 feet but after that it was eye to eye contact.
I do feel bad though that this person gave me such "love" with her big smile and eyes and I made her leave angrily with a clenched jaw.
The curse I speak of is that I think about her every day and even visit the book store daily and especially on Sunday afternoons.
Saturday I was out having lunch with my wife and as she was speaking the face of that woman appeared on hers appearing to come in and out of focus as I tried to dispell the image.
I have been through many events in my life, I've seen people die numerous times before me including a good friend of mine murdered by my side yet this recent event 7 months ago has effected me more than anything else ever has. Every day I remain haunted.
My wife suspects something is extra wrong with me lately but thus far I have been able to conceal what is bothering me from her. She would be hurt I'm sure although I did relate some of this to her months ago not in the detail I have here on this board.
I recently sold my H&K .40 pistol and my shotgun because I no longer feel comfortable around them as I am very impulsive and get flashes of anger and then depression.
I feel I need to meet this woman again and have verbal comunication to understand why I was like I was that afternoon in her presence.
I wish I could say I was embellishing what I have said here but I have not to any degree.
If anyone had told me what I have said here prior to me experiencing what I did I wouldn't have been able to empathize and so I know that most likely no one else will.
But I appreciate youra as well as the others responses.
Again, I know very little of demons, but I do have some theories. This woman continues to sound like a succubus, so there are a few conclusions that can be drawn from that. First, demons are shapeshifters (their true form likely cannot exist in our world) so it only makes sense for a succubus to take the form of your, excuse me if this is inaccurate, fantasy woman. I do not know if what you saw was a general skill she possessed or if she read your mind, though her nearly taking control over you seems to suggest she has telepathy.
Second, succubi are known for feeding off of men's life energy (there's no way to tell how much, but probably not enough to cause lasting damage without repitition) through sexual intercourse. Most myths have them coming to husband's bedrooms in the night and many scholars take the myths to be an explanation for wet dreams. Assuming the stories are correct (I've found that every story has a grain of truth at the center) then a succubi approaching you in public seems unusual. This implies that she was somehow unwilling or unable to locate a target at a better moment or location (demons have also been known to teleport, but doing so in physical form may be costly).
If she were after you specifically then I'm sure she could have found a time where you were more vulnerable. However, the impact she's had on you indicates that she either prepared for you or is of a great enough power that she could have gone for anyone at anytime she wished. It's unlikely she was worried about any sort of risk involved in her endeavor, if humans had developed a defense mechanism against succubi then they would have found another method of feeding so they could coexist better with us. I have been assuming that this woman is primarily motivated by rational self-interest (a safe bet for a demon, few are malevolent), but adding all of this together opens the possibility to something else.
It is very clear that this woman, whatever she may be, has had a profound effect on you. One thing you absolutely must do is TELL YOUR WIFE. Keeping this a secret from her does you no favors, you sharing this with her will make you both stronger and less isolated from one another. I know this is scary for you, I can't imagine you were acquainted with the supernatural before this incident, but you can't treat this any differently than you would a normal crisis in your life. You keeping this a secret (you can leave magic out of your explanation if you wish, not everyone is guaranteed to understand) is as detrimental to yourself as it would be any other way. The woman you love deserves to know what is troubling you, otherwise you risk drifting from her.
Regarding the succubus, if problems persist I recommend learning some basic protection spells, if you message me I can share some of mine with you. There are some other people here who know how to summon and speak with demons safely (this is a much bigger commitment than simple defense, so don't do it unless you have someone to help or the time and resources to push yourself) so I'm sure there is a way to communicate with the succubus you saw if you so wish. Additionally, I have a talent for astral projection and divination, so I MIGHT be able to assist on my end if you give me some more information (use the mail system). I'm happy to help you any way possible.
Once again, I must remind you to never lose faith in yourself and the people you love. Everything you've endured, every challenged that you've faced, every obstacle that you have surmounted in your life is your greatest source of power. Being connected to others, especially those you love dearly, are another source of your power. So long as you have this power, nothing can harm you. You have survived war, come out of PTSD, and beaten addictions, I can't imagine someone stronger than you are to have gone through so much and still be here, living a life that is worth living and worth protecting. Be strong and be faithful in thyself my friend, for you can emerge from this situation as you have any other, wiser and even stronger than before. Blessed be.
Hello again sir. I highly suspect this is a succubus or some supernatural entity. If this is the case I would seek someone in person who can help you. Good luck.
Thanks again for responding Jet. Reading all these various responses with "succubus", black magic, telepathy etc. is something I would have smiled at prior to that day but now I'm more confused than ever because being perfectly sober and experiencing what I did leaves every door open as to what really is the answer.
Again never having experienced anything remotely close to this in my entire life boggles my mind.
I actually have told my wife about the event a few months afterwards and when I told her about the hallucinations and how vivid they were she had some "rational" explanations.
I agree that the sunlight shining behind her through her hair might have given a halo like effect but what about the almost simultaneous deep red glow emanating from the floor beneath her feet?
As soon as she saw me her jaw dropped slightly as if she recognized me but if so was at least surprised so don't believe she was waiting for me specfically. She was standing by herself in the magazine aisle facing away from the magazines as if she was waiting for someone. Perhaps anyone suitable?
Like I alluded to from the "Heaven and Hell" (Halo and red glow) apsect she mostly appeared Angelic (good) as she had a beautiful smile and when I was looking into her eyes face to face with no facial expression and most likley vacant eyes her eyes took on a concerned look. I would have been concerned too if a strange guy acted like I did with no verbal greeting, etc.
I'm thinking there is no magic here and that she was a "normal woman" but might have been a predator or a divorcee on the hunt and I just happened to be the first acceptable man that came across her path.
Years ago at the V.A. here I was told people such as myself with PTSD have an inordinate amout of "stress hormones" and adrenalin that rapidly increase in stressful situations.
Now I wouldn't think that coming into contact with an attractive woman smiling at me would have caused this reaction but her strong, unrelenting eye contact that never ceased may have catalyzed this. I have never experienced this much "aggression" by a woman in my life before. I felt during this period that she was the "man" and I was "her bitch".
I don't believe I have ever been more intimidated by any man or woman before in my entire life and I do not intimidate easily.
Anyway the hypothesis goes that when an inordinate amout of the stress hormones are coursing through the body they exert pressure on the vocal cords creating a "selective mutism" and can also presure the optic nerve causing hallucinations.
My strong Catholic upbringing may have caused the "Heaven and Hell" effect.
Yes this is my first "supernatural experience" if indeed that is what it was but I am inclined to believe as I have previously stated that there are rational explanations for this.
Regardless I am concerned how my mind was affected where I essentially shut down on a conscious level and had no discernable thoughts and couldn't speak. It was almost like I was on thorazine, a drug that the V.A. once used on me decades ago.
If I had another episode similar to this then I would really be afraid but so far after seven months nothing.
Still "the event" is in my mind every day and even when I wake up at night a couple times she is always there.
As I said she was very angry when I finally "rejected" her (it was not my conscious choice) and perhaps she put some sort of curse on me?
Uh, Oh, magic?
Or perhaps it is all in my mind and I am angry that I was temporarily "out of my mind". I was absolutely, totally powerless to have acted any differantly than I did in that given period of about two minutes or so.
Regardless the way I am wired is that I need closure on "the event" and the only way I can see achieving that is by somehow meeting/communicating with that woman.
I realize though that perhaps that won't happen so I try to prepare myself .
I also feel somewhat guilty for continuing to think about this woman, almost like I am in a way "cheating" on my wife.
I also think continuously about the probabilty of meeting someone who is in my mind's eye "The perfect Angel" and meeting her in what I believe was a circumstance (the intense sunlight filtering through her hair in to my eyes, etc.) that prevented me from actually meeting her.
As you realize I have thought about this obsessively and I truly believe that if I had come across her path in almost any other lighting situation I wouldn't have had those hallucinations.
I can't know this for sure but I believe it is so.
Thanks especially for your thoughts in your last paragraph on never losing faith in myself and the people I love, etc.
I've copied this post as well and will re-read on occassion to fortify my faith.
What was this goddess you spoke of previously? And if she was indeed that why would you consider me lucky?
Perhaps from the perspective of a young man such as yourself and not married I can understand that. But if she was this "succubus", wouldn't that be like a vampire sucking your life's essence from you?
P.S. I see I made a mistake and posted the same thing twice. My apologies.
Very good then. I'm happy to see that you are coming to terms with this and making progress. Sorry about bringing up all this crazy magic-stuff you've never heard before. There is always the possibility that we were wrong about her being a succubus, though the surreality of you meeting her is still something to consider. Whether your feelings regarding her are her doing or yours, you can definitely make it through this. For now, there seems little reason to worry, but maintain your resolve just in case. May you find the answers to all your questions in the future, and be safe during the trip. Blessed be, as always.
Re: Surreal Experiences By: Lark Moderator / Adept
Post # 14 Feb 25, 2013
I just wanted to say "Welcome Home, Bro." I served as an Army Nurse in III and IV Corps during Vietnam. And I too deal with PTSD from my experiences there. It isn't an easy road to walk and I admire anyone who has managed to live a good life in spite of it.
You nurses are wonderful although I wasn't wounded physically I know many of my brothers that were and spoke highly of how they were treated.
I served both "tours"(gotta love that term, eh?) in II Corps, in the triple canopy of the Central Highlands. I was 18 in 1967 when I was at Dak To (4th Infantry Div.) I came back almost a year later after serving with the 82nd @ Bragg.
The second tour was with the 173rd Airborne Brigade (B/4/503rd Infantry) also in II Corps but east in the Tiger Mountains near Bong Son.
There was a big difference between my tours in a 3 year time frame with the one year between stateside @ Ft. Bragg.
The first tour was mostly larger term engagements with NVA and 122 mm rocket attacks. The second time they pulled us out of the mountains in early 1970 to form a new mission of "pacification" in an attempt to win the "hearts and minds" of the South Vietnemese. LOL as we would pull Med-Caps in the local villes in Binh Dinh provence and then get fired upon by small arms and RPG's from the ville at night. I know of only one suicide but several "fraggings" and one murder of my best buddy Tony Flores by a black trooper from another company that happened at a stand down @ our LZ North English.
Anyway we made it and we just have to beware of our greatest enemy. Ourselves.
