(Yay! I'm littering the forums again, lol.) So, I know what soul mates are according to the media. That there slightly closer then kindred souls. That it's 2 people whose love in a sence is immortal. They might have been lovers in there past lives, present and future or if you don't beileve in past lifes then you 2 are perfect for each other and whatever you think might happen when you pass, you 2 are together. What I'm asking however is the rarety of soul mates. I beileve in soul mates and can't truely think of anything better in the world then having your family, best friend and lover all rolled up into one! However, sadly I've never seen a pair of soul mates before. My whole family is full of people that married someone they have love for and care about but they aren't and weren't in love with them. (Yes, theres a huge differance between the 2.) Or they could name a whole list of other partners they'd rather be with. Or they've beat, cheated on there spouses and utterly just made the other feel like absolute shit... Sad but true and because of that they've utterly left relationships and marriage as a bitter taste in my mouth. I know that soul mates hav to be rare but how rare? Also, are soul mates created at the beginning or are they just 2 souls that eventually found each other and couldn't be seperated? To anyone who's TRUELY found there soulmates, I praise you. Or if you are happy with your partner even if they aren't your soul mate, I also congradulate you. I know there's not an exact answer for my question, so think of this as more of an open discussion of idea's and if possible experiences! :)
i think so few people ever meet their soul mate because the media makes it into this magical experience so they have super hi expectations or they just feel like its too good to be true or they just dont deserve it. I was lucky enough to find my soulmate at 14 years old and it was the strangest experience ever, but that didnt matter i love him dearly inside and out and we are inseparable.
Re: Soul Mates?
By: Arienna_07 / Novice Dec 21, 2012
Post # 4
As for your question "are soul mates created at the beginning or are they just two souls that found each other," I think either is possible. There isn't really any way to figure out which it is, it could be either. Regardless of that, I think soul mates are a very wonderful thing. The concept is interesting and debatable. I feel that once you find your soul mate, you simply know. I don't believe in the glam and fireworks that the media creates. It is simply a feeling of being complete because that person is in your life. As for being married to people who are not your soul mate, I think that is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes things happen to prevent you from being with your soul mate, and it is entirely possible to be happy or content with someone else.
It's easy to peg Hollywood for this one, but what really keeps our expectations high enough to be shattered is a set of hormones called 'dopamine' and 'serotonin.'
When you consume foods you enjoy, your brain rewards you by pumping out these hormones, generating feelings of contentment and pleasure. It rewards you the same way for being successful, having a high self-esteem, and many other positive experiences. Certain recreational drugs allow a user to circumvent the process of having to cultivate it naturally by ingesting chemicals that synthesize into it.
It turns out love is another endeavor our brains reward us for pursuing with a feel-good brain shower. When we fall in love, our brains produce dopamine for feelings of euphoria, closeness, intimacy and pleasure, and serotonin for retaining those feelings in a short burst. (Serotonin has been linked to obsessive-compulsive behaviors, and might be the culprit as to why newly in-love couples can't stop thinking about each other.)
These hormones can be thought of 'rose-tinted glasses' through which the honeymooning couple see each other. Their brains are hopped up on chems.
People who are prone to falling in and out of love can be thought of as real junkies for these chems. The rush they get from romance can be a stronger drive for them than any other earthly pleasure. Their drive to acquire it may condemn them to unhappiness in the form of hastiness, clingyness, or incredibly high expectations.
Other people aren't so prone. Their dopamine receptors may be inhibited, meaning they don't experience the rush as vividly as most of us do, or their serotonin is depressed, reducing the length at which this rush is felt. People on antidepressants may have trouble falling in love or staying in love because their medication adversely effects the production of those hormones.
The key to finding compatible partners lies with understanding their internal chemistry and complementing it.
However, chemistry can only go so far where commitment is concerned. Our bodies are fickle mistresses, and the hormones our brains baste in daily changes its recipe depending on our diets, our exercise regimens (if we have them), our environments, and the amount of stress we're under. Modifying these traits causes more or less of any number of hormones to alter their dosages, resulting in mood changes (and sometimes even full-blown personality shifts). This means that the delicate mixture that brought you together will inevitably be modified, and your feelings for them will inevitably change as a result.
People change. You'll change. They'll change. It's a documented scientific fact.
Those who have succeeded in forging and keeping true love alive have learned that when we live together in pairs (or trios, or quadruples - I'm not here to judge), we influence each other's development. If that influence is carried out - as the Wiccans would say - "in perfect love and perfect trust," you can expect the dopamine to flow like water, and the love it inspires to retain for a long, long time. If it isn't, well ... not so much.
I'm sure there's a spiritual constituent of true love I've failed to mention. There's a reason for that. How we choose to express our love is as intimately tied to our beings as the deities we worship (if any), and if their blessing in such endeavors is necessary for the 'truism' of the love to be validated, so may it be.
I do believe in soul mates, that two people can kind of be... made for each other. But, I also think that the possibilities of finding them is different. If destiny is to bring you two together, then that is what happens. If it doesn't then you might meet each other in another life or heaven (whatever your religion believes in). Soul mates, in my opinion, don't just fall in love with each other, I think that they have to do so normally. It could take days, months, years, it depends. Soul mates depend on destiny.
so im not a love commenter but i got a story for this ive got a best friend we were friends 2 years till we started dating and everytime we broke up we stayed friends and continued to "see" eachother through out the years ,even if one of us/both, were in another relationship... so its been 2 1/2 years since the last time making it a total of 12 that my best friends been my partner, and were getting married in a year... so as a skeptic to the idea of a soul mate i suppose i cant argue because im sure i've gotten mine... blessings and good luck, they find you too...