If you are asking how to tell the name and gender of the spirit of your crystal, then I have but a single word answer for you; meditation :)
Personally, I have only experienced this with one of my crystals while I was cleansing it. I was using water and the stone was in my hands. The cleansing required a visualization, and I unknowingly went into a meditative state. I found myself on a beach with the spirit of my crystal. She didn't tell me her name, but did speak with me about something personal.
It is important that you know that not all crystals may show thier spirits to you as many do not have solid forms or genders. If you do manage to contact one of them, they may only tell you thier name if they feel you need it. Crystals are teachers and they will show/tell you what they think you need to know at that time. Please remember this and do not get upset if you don't find out thier name and gender. I can almost garentee that a well cared for and cleansed crystal will be happy to assist you with magick and meditation. :)