in my Order in Rochester i always use a ritual with a 7point star magic that better connect my Order members with the universes energy and a permanent shield that keeps them safe from doulting energies of the world. One of my member has not done his part to make it to are meetings so i expelled his membership of the Order. there for disconnecting hem form the Order's sacred shield. but now i feel as if part of me is gone and a feel terrible after the spell i used towards the expelled member of the Order. which disconnects hem form the Order and shuts off the shield around hem.
why do i feel as if part of me is missing? why do i feel terrible? i never felt this way before.