The best way to face something like that is on your own, without any spell or ritual. But it depends on the kind of close relationship you both held, everybody has something different. Try getting really into a hobby or just remind your self there is a reason for everything in life. you might not see it now but in a few years you will prob understand :) blessed be
Use lavendar in aromatherapy. Take healing baths, wear bloodstone, and take up the power within yourself to get over this. You say you want to stop, but if you truly did you would find a way. I know, I've been there. You have to pick yourself up after one good cry (to release your emotions) and realize no one is dead and you have a full life ahead of you. It will hurt for a long time but you don't have to embrace the pain like you're doing.