Lucid dreaming, is just being aware that you are dreaming thus giving you control of the dream. I'm sure you've had lucid dreams, we all have. Your just having difficulties having them on command. The human mind is mysterious this way. Mail me and I might have some exercises that can help.
First post here.
I've been trying for lucid dreams for quite a few years now too, and I've even managed to have a fee myself. But I can never seem to do it when I want, it just happens.
Recently, while looking through a book of spells, I discovered the herb Mugwort. Along with seeming to help boost psychic abilities, and some health benefits, mugwort is also used to help achieve lucid dreams. just Google mugwort magic for more info.
If you want to lucid dream, I would suggest using a dream journal. Keep it close to your bed and as soon as you wake, write everything down that you remember. This will help to teach you a bit about your dreaming patterns. Although we all have random odd dreams at times, many have a certain wake and sleep pattern, as well as dream pattern. By familiarizing yourself with this it will be easier for you to realize when you are dreaming. It is also beneficial for dream analysis and to get a good understanding of the things your subconscious mind is working on while asleep.