I can not agree with Brysing, on the point of "write Your own spell". This is a bad advice to someone that has never cast a spell before, or someone that ( presumably ) has no solid base of theory of magick , as well as esotery and metaphysics in general.
Furthermore, to write a spell one needs to have understanding of
- spell as a process, requirements, timing
and to have a very in-depth knowledge of correspondences, which differ depending on preferred spiritual path.
Writing up a proper spell is a result of harmony between occult science and occult art, and requires a lot of knowledge and experience, which by definition beginners do not have.
Also, paying for spells is not always stupid, for more reasons than one
1) You are supporting someone who aids spiritually others ( implying it's a propper, devoted spiritual worker )
2) You are making sure that certain type of spell ( depending on goal, such as love, money etc ) is done by someone who is more proficient in specific area than Yourself
3) Apotropaic spells are best left to trustworthy people to cast , when we ourselves ar e the client, for only fool has itself for client . It is that way in medicine, law and in occult work, the reason is sipmle , issue of bias and objectiveness
As for the asker, a good advice for You are "Spiritual development spells" or "Increase spiritual awareness " typ e, which will, among other benefits, bring You better understanding of occult, and prevent You from further posting, questions such as this one.