You meditate and believe in your powers...wonderful!
Can you tell me the sensation your energy gives you, the color of it when you see it and where it originates from? Also if it doesnt flow throughout your entire being, where does it exit when casting?
If these questions make you scratch your head...Listen to Brim and learn your basics. meditiation, energy flow/control, visualization as well as grounding and centering, chakra balancing, tools, colors, days, moon phases, ect.
No offense, but I take call me spells as seriously as I take spells to make it snow in the middle of winter in north east U.S.
Odds are, it was going to happen at some point.