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Forums -> General Info -> Coming out

Coming out
By:
Post # 1

Should You Come Out of the Broom Closet?
By Patti Wigington, About.com Guide

After you?ve been Pagan or Wiccan for a while, you will eventually find yourself facing the question of whether or not to "come out of the broom closet." For those of you unfamiliar with the term, this essentially means "coming out" as a Pagan or Wicca -- making it known to family, friends, neighbors, etc. It?s a highly personal issue, and people have a number of reasons for choosing to stay closeted. Just as many people have reasons for making their beliefs known.
Coming out may not be for everyone, or it may be something you choose to do in degrees.

When you decide to make your faith known, you are opening yourself up to all the problems that may accompany being recognized as part of a non-mainstream faith. However -- and this is a mighty big however -- you do have certain rights, particularly in the United States. Arming yourself with knowledge will help you tremendously in protecting those rights.

Current Status

There are different levels of being "out". For many Pagans and Wiccans, simply letting their families or spouses know about their spirituality is enough. Many people consider religion to be a private thing anyway -- no matter what religion they may be -- and are perfectly content to limit the number of people in their lives who actually know the details. Plenty more people are of the opinion that if you are asked, tell the truth, but otherwise don?t be in-your-face about Paganism or Wicca.

Other folks are more vocal -- feeling that if you really believe in something, you need to tell everyone, and do so with pride. These are the folks you usually see on television discussing Pagan and Wiccan rights, they?re the ones who openly teach classes, and often are leaders of your local Pagan community. Some probably own shops, perform ceremonies as Pagan clergy, or work as liaisons between the Pagan community and the non-Pagan world.

One of the reasons it?s so hard to get an accurate count of the current Pagan and Wiccan population is because there are so many people who are simply private about their beliefs. Estimates in the United States alone suggest that there are anywhere from 200,000 to two million Pagans and Wiccans in the country.

As Paganism and Wicca move more towards the mainstream, more and more people are coming out of the broom closet. Some are flamboyant and vocal, others are more discreet and quiet. Others don?t come out at all, because they?re concerned about the reactions they?ll receive.

Bear in mind also that there's a huge difference between being private and being deceptive. If you're a teen who's trying to decide what to say to your parents about Wicca, read My Parents Don't Want Me To Be Wiccan in the FAQ section.

Background

Thirty years ago, coming out as a Pagan or Wiccan was virtually unheard of. The only people who were actually out were Pagan authors -- people like Sybil Leek, Ray Buckland, Scott Cunningham, Isaac Bonewits, Starhawk. These were the people who became leaders of the modern Pagan movement, simply because they were the most visible.

During the 1980s, more books became available on Paganism and Wicca, and one of the topics covered nearly universally was the decision to come out or not. In subsequent decades, as the Internet became a resource found in every household and coffee shop, Pagan and Wiccan networking sites became readily available. Earth-based spirituality became open to the masses, and more and more people realized it was okay to come out.

Pros


There are several positive aspects to being out as a Pagan or Wiccan. For starters, it allows you the freedom of not hiding your true self. When you?ve shared who you are with others, it makes it that much easier to be honest and open about other things.

When it comes to controversial issues, Wiccans and Pagans are often at the forefront of writing letters to congress people, marching in parades, and organizing protests. By making your presence as a Pagan known, it allows like-minded people to find you when they need your assistance. Likewise, if you need them, you?ll be able to find them if they?re out.

Finally, there?s a sense of liberation that comes with being out. Even if you?re not one of those in-your-face Pagans, and are simply out to friends and family, there?s a freedom born of openness. Once you?re out, you don?t have to worry that other people are going to find out -- because you?ve already made it known, on your own terms.

Cons

For some people, the idea of coming out as Pagan or Wiccan is terrifying. They may feel that they?ll be persecuted by local fundamentalist groups, or that they will be in danger of losing jobs, children, etc. If this is of concern to you, be sure to read the section on Your Rights as a Pagan.

Some Pagans choose not to come out because of fears related to past history. There is sometimes a concern that outing oneself as Pagan or Wiccan could lead to a repeat of the Burning Times that existed during the Middle Ages.

Another thing to bear in mind is that once you?re out, it?s a one-way street. You can?t suddenly take back that you?re Wiccan or Pagan, because people won?t forget. This is why it?s not a bad idea to come out gradually -- rather than waking up one morning and wearing your brand new "I?m a Witch, Deal With It!" shirt, it may be better to first let family know, then friends, and finally become open with others. Regardless, it?s something you can do at the pace that feels best to
you.

Resolution

Ultimately, the decision to come out is one that takes some thought and possibly some clever planning as well, depending on how you believe you will be received. You may be pleasantly surprised to find support and friendship in places that you didn?t expect it -- it?s possible that dear old mom and dad will embrace your newfound spirituality rather than chastising you for it.

Talk to people who are out of the broom closet and ask them for advice on how to talk to their families and friends about who they are.

Finally, be sure to never, EVER, out someone else without their permission. It?s a personal choice, and while you?re more than welcome to tell people what you believe -- without proselytizing, of course -- you?re not welcome to announce that other people are Pagan or Wiccan, unless they are already out.

Religion and spirituality is a private and personal thing, no matter who you are. Coming out of the broom closet is a choice that only you can make for yourself. It?s something that you can choose to do when the time is right for you -- or not.

If you decide to come out, here are some important tips on how to do so: How to Come Out of the Broom Closet

http://paganwiccan. about.com/od/contemporaryissues/i/Broom_Closet.htm
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Re: Coming out
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Post # 2
Great post but i laughed for a sec when i read post topic, i thought you had a secret you wanted to tell us all. lol
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Re: Coming out
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Post # 3
Nice post, unfortunately even today some of us may come from or have to live around people from cultures who still TODAY practise torture and burning of witches or women who just even have their own mind, so we really got to hide who we are but i did enjoy the post, i think its very good
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Re: Coming out
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Post # 4
I agree, this is a helpful post 8D thanks for sharing it.
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Re: Coming out
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Post # 5
The other day we had like this family gathering for a family member's birthday. I was at my grandparents and they didn't even ask me if I wanted to go. I was a bit upset about this, because I hate family gatherings and birthdays. Anyway, I then went with them.

I then put on my best Wicca clothes and jewellery, just to be spiteful. Lol.

The whole evening, everybody stared at me and my big pentagram necklace.

Since then, I just decided that I'm no longer going to hide. I'm not going to have a conversation with everyone about me being Wicca, I'm just going to do my Wicca things and if someone asks me what I'm doing, I'm just going to tell them I'm doing a spell or ritual or that the pentagram that I'm wearing is for protection etc.

Luckily I have a lot of "weapons" (arguments) to use when I get confronted by my family. They're all christians.
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