I adore all types of magic and thirst for the ability to learn more and strengthen my abilities. I want to learn and control the powers I know exist. I want to heal my friends and rain pain down on my enemies. I want power.
You want to heal your friends and hurt your enemies? There's a simple solution to those, get trained in first aid and buy a gun. The saying with great power comes great responsibility springs aptly to mind over this, to become powerful you also need to know how to use it.