redo chapter 1 and ......

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Forums -> Misc Topics -> redo chapter 1 and ......

redo chapter 1 and ......
Post # 1
chapter 2, plz read and tell me your true feeling on this thank you. and yes i know the formats messed up thats wat happends when u copy and paste lol

6 week till midnight

present day

The cold wolves are wimpering tonight, one of them has died, i killed

i stand on the grey, moss covered rock over looking the moon lit lake.
My life i had once known is no longer real. The shy boy had died, along
with my loved ones. i spose i should start at the begining. its hard to look back
but i must expose the truth that i hold to mabey give some insite to the one's
who reads this letter. but let u be told that who ever reads this u will no
longer wish to be alone in the moon lit night. it all started at my dreaded 16th

6 week's ago

chapter 1: suprise

I awake to my mom standing over me with a empty bag wavering in her
hands."mom u didnt have to do this im old anough now that i dont need the
ballons" every year my whole life my mom has had a little suprise she does
for us when i awake she throws balloons over me, not the most expensive thing
but we just try to stay true to what ever she says.
"ya i know but its your birthday and i dont want to stop all of a
sudden. i mean its not everyday your son turns 16" mom says. "now hurry up
grandpas making breakfast." my mom is sick she has something called liver
diesease i dont know the exact fact's of it but every few years it acts up
makes her deathly looking and not very healthy so my grandparents let us live
there, ya know just until she got better. my mom drank alot in her early
years that why i think she had it so bad.
so i started to get ready i threw off my sweat filled shirt into the
laundry hamper, threw off my stinky shorts and grabbed a new one from my
newly folded drawers. but while i looked into my drawers to grab my shorts
i saw my dads picture. I hadent known my father for to long but long anough
to know that he wa strange always going out never here for us, especily when
we needed him most in the wake of my moms dreadful diesaese. i stopped to
stare at the picture and put it away in my drawer not wanting to deal with
it anymore, and i began my desent down stairs.
"good morning jacub ready for some chili and eggs made um just for
your speical day" he gave me a faint smile,my grandpa was a marine he is
the definition of bad ass,he is the best man i know, hard working, generous,
and always ready for a good laugh. when i was a kid and my mom was a drunk
he used to stick up for me he used to make sure my mom wouldn't miss treat
me or anything like i said the best man i know.
" ohhhhhh grandpa u dont know how much im ready for that been waitin
all night" i said with a over joyed expression on my face.
And then i saw my brother, he's turning 18 this year, that guy is
crazy always wanting hugs and stuff hes a good guy always there for me
" happy birthday man how old are ya 10? 12? hahaha just joken, your 14 right?
"he joked. "i remember my 16th birthday, when i went to six flags, best time
of my life besides the puking part" his names jake ya i know sorta same name
im not maken this up my mom setup our names before we were born to sound the
same or something some stupid thing.
"good morning everyone" said my sister jacy said (like i said same
names). she was the one annoying person in my family tho i would do anything
to see her again."why is jacub so happy?"
"jacey stop u know its your brothers birthday" my grandma said.
grandma she was the law and the order in this house. she always kept things
the way things should be or what she thought of the right way."happy birthday
i used to hate that house me always getting into trouble but anough
about me let me keep going.
" here collin i know how much u love cup cakes so i got u a cup cake
for breakfast." said mom
"haha thanks mom im sure suger is exactly what i need this morning."
i said ,not knowing that it would would accualy do me no good at all, the
cup cake was pink it had a happy birthday sign on it. i started to eat it on
the side with the most frosting. it seemed like the best place to start.
"so jacub what are u figuring to do today? if your not doing anything
i may need some help in the basement today. moving some big stuff, if u dont
mind that is" said grandpa.
"sure what ever ill head down there jake come on help me out." i said
while waving over to him to signal to hurry up.
"ya im comin im comin" he said.
i began to walk down the steps kinda slow cause i dont like to be
down there by myself always had the creeps down there ever since i was a
little kid.
By the time i got down the stairs jake caught up to me. "hey jake do
u ever wonder what grandpa and grandma have down here?"
"not really just old people stuff and christmas ordiments" jake said,
while playing with his ipod like he always does.
"ya your probly right just me and my imagination" i said. then i saw
grandpa come down. " so grandpa what do u need us to lift?"
"come over here ill show ya" grandpa said in his old man voice. he
pointed to a board on the ground "i need to tear this up its getting old i
need to replace it with this new one" he grabbed a new looking board.
"ok jake lets start to rip this open get that crow bar" he walked
over to the rusty old bar and throw it to me. i stuck the bar in the crevase and stepped on it. the board broke "oh sorry grandpa."
"no problem jacub." said grandpa
"so grandpa what do u think could be down there" i said
"i dont know just dont mess with i lets head up and head over to the
store to get some nails" grandpa said with a staring glare towards the giant
hole in the ground.
end of chapter one

chapter 2: The wolf in the mirror

So we headed down to home depo. or slave depo as grandpa likes to
call it, he used to work there minamum payment for working all day under a
hot sun in a steel building with a glass roof not exactly the best job in
the world but he does what ever gets the job done.
well we drove down deldona street on the way to "slave depo" and
to do that we have to go through the small yet destructive getto of ottawa.
This place was pretty weird but this is not were my story continues it starts
at the store. Me and grandpa parked on the north side of the building in
the front to advoid long waiting in the parking lot, not the most legal thing
in the world but no body will stop him. I exited the vehicle and began to
follow my grandpa into the store.
while we tryed to enter a old man started at me on the bench with
these strange light blue eyes just spooky in a way, i way going to ask him
why he was staring at me but i desided just to leave it go. Now my granpa
has a reputation to let people know how he feels about them to there face so
when he thinks of something bad you'll know for sure he'll tell ya. So most
people think hes a mean old guy so most people dont like um. Well we grab
our nails at the far end of the store and head toward the cashier regisher.
And the cashier says to me "hey kid i feel bad for you, that old man thats
with you is a crazy old coot."
Now with me i dont like people talken to me in that kinda way and i
sure as hell dont like some guy telling me about my crazy old coot grandpa.
Now i am the quiet type never getting into fights never have gotten into one
. so for now i just stand there with a anger glare hoping for the worst for
him.Well my grandpa paid for the nails and we headed back into his car the
man is gone from outside.
Well this time my grandpa doesnt feel like going through the getto
again so he head around the long way, through the park, along the church,
and down the street. Well by the time we get back to the yellow house my
grandma is setting out a pie on the window sill for us to cool down.
"Hey boys have a fun trip tothe store?"grandma said to us.
"ya it was fine some kid making smart ass remarks but nothing
terrable." grandpa said.
"well serves you right for letting jacub work on his birthday that
should be a crime." grandma said with a scold look.
" no grandma im ok no need to get mad with grandpa really" i said
to grandma to try to cool her down.
"well ok jaky if you insist but after this no more work do you
hear me? both of you" grandma said.
Well after that i sat down next to jake to watch tv " hey jaky
ha sorry man that was funny" he said to me laughing.
"yayaya anything good on?" i asked him.
"no not really just girl vs wild and stuff nothing that exiting."
he told me.
Well after looking for a good show i gave up and walked up to my
room and know what i saw i saw a naked girl, not any naked girl my sister!
"AHHHHH jacy cover up its bad anough to see you with clothes, oh man i think
im gonna be sick" i said while making a realistc gagging noise.
"shutup jacub its not like u've never seen it" she said covering up.
And while i saw her i saw a bruse on her arm.
"jacy did your boyfriend hurt you?" i asked quickly.
"no and even if he did what would you do you never do anything" she
said. and i knew that she was right even tho i knew what had happend i would
care to even talk to the guy about it, id be to afraid to make a jesture.
I headed down stairs trying to block the image of my sister naked out
of my head while running into my moms bf, i hate him so much, he used to hit
me when i was a kid, never had the power to strike back, not only that but
the man always stole money from my mom i think that she just doesnt want to
lose the man so she stays on with him not caring that he steals from her.
Well i headed down stairs to use the other bathroom to wash my hands
for lunch. I got down there and i opened the door for the bathroom i turned
on the water and it began to rush, i got a hand full of water and threw it
on my face. i went over and dried my face i turned around and suddenly i
saw this silver wolf in the mirror staring bak at me! I fell down i broke
the towl holder. i rubbed my eyes and it was gone. My mom rushed in.
"are you ok what happend?" my mom asked franticly.
"nothing nothing just fell thats all." i lied but i didnt want to
tell them that i saw a wolf staring at me in the mirror.
"Hey buddy i think you should rest in your bedroom for a bit
just to be ready for your party tonight." grandpa said. the way he said
it, it just didnt seem right kinda like when someone talks about death he
sounded empty.
I walked up the stairs to my room and stumbled a bit but i caught
my footing and walked up to my room in there was my brother."is everything
alright i herd something?"jake asked.
"ya i just fell i'll be ok" i said to him again lieing to everyone.
i layed down and started to dose off and finnaly i rested.

end of chapter 2
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Re: redo chapter 1 and ..
Post # 2

Your a little rude to you elders. BAKA!

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Re: redo chapter 1 and ......
Post # 3
This thread has been moved to Misc Topics from General Info.
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