I'd be happy to help you. I have 5 books already under my belt and I write songs and Poetry. So if you would like me to help you I will.
Here is a part of a book I wrote called Beast Among Men
It's about a Vampire race.
Draco's powers were draining since the moon was only a cresant glow and the clouds hung low, as the damp sweat of the earth mistified the air with it's soft shimmering glow. I could hear the vacant cries of the other clan beckoning us on, as they taunted the moment to strike and find us utterly weaked by the lack of light from the moon. My body began to shake with a hunger I had not felt in years. I craved the blood of a human as I heard foot steps aloof in the woods. Why would there be anyone out tonight? I thought, but the hunger surpassed the need to feed, as my feet came to life to carry me to this sweet smell of a flesh delight..Draco ever needing me by his side to protect him. But how was I to protect him if..I was starved from the one thing that gave me strength? I had to leave him to hunt this prey..so that I could defend 10 million. This blood will enrich my power 10 fold..it was what I needed, what Draco needed and I had to get it to save him.
(this is just a small portion of what I could do for your book, if your still interested let me know, thanks for reading this.)