|I feel that I am a very open and accepting person, though people can be blind to their own actions and I may not be as accepting as I think, I feel that race, religion, sexual orientation, appearance, etc... shouldn't be a barrier to block someone from being friends. I have my own views regarding religion but I actually enjoy hearing about others and I try not to force my views on others and wish others to treat me the same as we all have a right to believe what we believe. I try to be respectful and courteous of members but if I fail to be or seem rude I am extremely sorry. I hope such an event doesn't occur but I cannot predict what may happen.
Like many children I was drawn to magick as a child, which I then of course referred to as magic. I feel that my interest in magick never diminished completely though my outlook isn't the same as it was when I was a child. My interest in magick partially arose from a desires such as a desire to escape reality figuratively speaking and rise above my problems, which I naively thought magick could help me achieve. A simple book can help one's mind escape into a whole other reality I quickly learned growing up though. Quickly after joining SOM I learned the differences between media magic and real magick, that magick isn't a miracle cure for all your problems, that one cannot transmute, etc... though I still partake in fantasy once in a while via different forms of media/entertainment.
Like many others due to different facts such as religion I feel I must conceal my interest in magick from my peers and family as they are even outspoken against medition. As a result I have found learning magick difficult and my journey has been slow. I still feel that I am attracted to magick for reasons unknown. While I am aware that readings of any kind can inaccurate and the future isn't set in stone I once received a aura reading that implied a strong connection to spirit and the higher planes which somewhat strengthed my belief that learning magick is the right path for me. I believe that if I am meant to learn magick I will and if not I'm not meant to, but for now I am simply enjoying the journey. I am not Wiccan but through learning about magick I believe it has given me at the very least a greater respect or strengthened the respect I already possessed for nature.
I am aware some people believe that is impossible to practice magick and consider themselves a Christian but I still believe in my faith. Sometimes I consider myself a bit of a hypocrite because I have been known to use the names of different pagan gods (mainly Greek and Egyptian) in my attempts to practice magick but I don't believe these gods to exist. When I speak there names I am merely using them symbolically such as using the name Athena in a spell related to knowledge, though I have recently begun to simply call on the elements as I feel I shouldn't use names of these beings out of respect for my beliefs and the beliefs of others as I might be insulting those who do believe in there existence.
I have had little success in the area of spells in the past. Once I channeled energy to a friend who was a great distance from me and they confirmed that they received energy. I have also cast spells on a few fellow magick users. Shockingly the spells worked on them though they were meant to cause physical sensations not infringe on their free will and I only have their word it worked as I once again cast the spells at a distance. In the end I have yet to cast a successful spell on the average person or myself and consider the past successes possible flukes. One theory as to why the spells seemed to work is that I told them I was going to cast a spell and they volunteered as long as I wasn't doing anything negative to them. Another theory I have is that they felt the spells effect because they themselves cast spells and are intune with the energies around them.
I have always thought being a realist was a good thing till I started trying to practice magick. I believe my realist mentality results in doubts which hold me back somewhat. Part of my lack of faith and belief in magick is that I've only met magick users online. In other words I've never met a witch, Wiccan, shaman, etc... in reality to my knowledge. I believe my belief would strengthen if I were to ever speak to a legitimate magick user, caster, etc... in person. All I can say is that I keep trying and don't plan to give up.
Talents/Skills: According to my family when I was little I supposedly had a green thumb. After starting my studies of magick I began to wonder if my family was humoring me or not as one of my two elements, if my belief of being drawn to two elements is correct, is earth. If they were being honest I was a natural at rooting and transplant plants and could have a strong connection to the earth, but my busy schedule combined with simply being a guy and feeling that people will think I'm weird if I suddenly gain an interest in gardening I have yet to try and grow anything to test this. I know control fhe elements is impossible but I wonder if channeling energy into plants to aid in growth could be possible. The only talent I am sure I have is a natural ability to rhyme. When I was in high school I learned that I enjoyed writing poetry and sometimes it came naturally to me. I still find it easy to rhyme but harder to write actual poems. This talent is obvious to me, but I'm always hoping to find another talent hidden beneath the surface.
Magickal Experience: Energy Magick (Energy magick is a label giving to spells that require no materials save for the casters voice, will or intent, and energy.)
Magickal Name: When practicing magick some people choose a unique name that represents them which they use in rituals or amongst their coven members. I found myself at one point drawn to the term or name Jet. I know it is a stone, and is technically if memory serves fossilized burnt wood the magickal properties of which absorb negative energies, but I am drawn to it easily though such names normally correspond to a person's personality. I don't actually use this name in practice.
Astrological Sign/Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Zodiac: Horse
Element: Air & Earth (I am not 100% sure this is my element, but I have always loved the feeling of wind blowing against me, the sight of leaves blowing in the wind, and the sight of the trees swaying. My zodiac sign also corresponds to Air. The Earth idea comes from a reading someone performed saying they sensed I was dual earth & air though these elements are considered opposites and this combination may not be common. I am also well grounded and I mentioned the green thumb bit above.
Favorite Color: Green
Favorite Season: Autumn/Fall (I've always been hot natured/get hot easily and prefer cold weather over hot weather. The spring and fall are my favorite times of year as they are not too hot and not too cold, but the color of the leaves in the trees and a simple feeling deep within makes fall my favorite time of year.)
Favorite Animal: I have trouble deciding which of the big cats I like best. I believe it is the Black Panther as it is fierce and its coloring allows it to blend into the shadows, but I have always been drawn to the tiger. I am also a fan of canine, wolves in particular.
Hobbies: I love to read a good bit of fiction whether it is in a physical book or posted on some website. I also love to play games of all kinds. I also enjoy watching a good movie or TV show. Finally I love to listen to a good music. In truth all of my favorite hobbies have one thing in common, or two. The first thing they have in common is they allow me to step into another world and ignite my imagination. The second thing they have in common is they reveal how lazy I am. ;) As previously mentioned I enjoy rhyming/poetry, but not as much as I used to.
My Virtues (They are determined by me and I'm biased.): I'm artistic, funny, silly, crazy, giving, and fun to be around.
My Faults (They outweigh my virtues.): I can be angered and hold grudges, I'm shy, withdrawn, antisocial, insecure, easily depressed, a bit negative or pessimistic, I have trouble believing in that which I cannot see, I'm sarcastic, hard headed, I have a bad memory in regards to some things and a good one in regards to others, and I'm obstinate which I believe is the same as hardheaded.
My Mantra/Goal: I seek to know my destiny and be the best person I can be. I am one with the darkness in my heart and no matter how hard it may try it cannot tear me apart. I wish to awaken the power that lies within, whether it is fueled by anger, hope, faith, fear, or sin. Most of all I wish to be happy and meet others like me.