|I was born and raised in the Bible Belt, Fayetteville AR. And you wouldn't believe how many covens and churches are within blocks of each other, quite funny when you think of it. Both my parents were christan hippies.
I was introduced to witchcraft thru a coven that snared children who were what you may call 'latch-key kids.' Don't understand? Look it up! This was a hardcore, nasty coven and if you didn't do what you were told to do, let's just say your pic ended up on a milk carton, know what I mean? My best frien Kelly Walker, whom everyone at school called 'Smelly Hocker' ended up in a ditch near the elementary school we both attended...she was 'neck-tied' with a knife, again--look it up. This was what happened to kids who didn't comply.Sometimes, you just ended up forever missing because you were a sacrafice and they knew how to dispose bodies quite efficiently.
They'd invite you to a kegger party [at the age of 12 approx.] and have you show them which was your window and sneak you out in the middle of the night. The first couple of 'keggers' were normal, but then when things started to turn fearful and ugly, they threatened to kill your family if you didn't keep coming. They knew everything about you: your parents names and places of employment, you and your siblngs schools, names of teachers: EVERYTHING!
If you were highly intelligent, did your personality split into one or more personalities to do their bidding, while your core personality stayed unaware of the true horrors, so you could lead a half-assed normal life? To go to school, to work, etc. And then find yourself at home without knowing where the stains on your clothes didn't make sense? Where the milage on your car meter didn't add up? Coming to in the middle of somewhere and not know where you are, or why nothing looke familiar? On Sabbats and Solstices do you find yourself in the ER or in a mental ward and see the pattern yet of when you have to go to these places? Did you make up lies to cover your unknown whereabouts, having to create more lies to cover up the previous lies? Well, I did all these things and survived, by staying quiet.
I'm quite ill now, and if they do come after me, well fate is having her way--we all must die, and since my doctors consider me to be clinically insane [just as much as 90 percent as the rest of the world, haha], I'm not really a threat anymore. This is where my questions for you lead into. Just what kind of a witch are you, and what does your coven do? You must remember: what you send out, say, in a spell, you get back x 3. It's the universal law of the world. As Glenda said, in The Wizard of Oz to Dorothy, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"
Let me give you a 'demons'tration. Take a look at, let's say, a pencil sitting on a table. You could just let it lie there. Or you could pick it up and use it for what it's for [writing]. Or...you could PUT SOMEONES EYE OUT WITH IT! It's your intention behind your thoughts that establish your actions. It's your choice.
Unfortunately for some, it's mans laws that get in their way so they try to find ways around it. Be warned: there are some really high ranking officials more entrenched than the ones in your coven. You ask...is she a witch or not? I must use white defensive witchcraft to fend off their spells because prayers from my bible don't seem to work when I feel I'm being attacked.
So...enough of that.
I'm 42 wth a handsome, noble son who's going to be 26 this July, and I have 2 beautiful granddaughters, 7 & 4 years old. I've been single for 4 years due to choice. I found out throughout my life that men and women [I'm bisexual] were like christmas presents: different sized box, different pretty paper and a different flashy bow, only to find out it was the same personality over and over that I was subconciously attracted to. Talk about a hard lesson. I found I was choosing the triple AAA type: Alocholic Abusive [blip]. So I have been taking a much needed break from relationships to look at my past relationships to figure what I'm doing wrong and why I'm not attracted to 'nice' men/women. I've always been abused and I fear the unkown more than the known, catch my drift?
My mother, whom I lived with for the last few years because we were both sick and had to care for one another, just passed away this March at the young age of 62. I miss her something awful. We're taking a trip back to Fayetteville, Ar to scatter her ashes on her mothers grave, which is what she wanted. I'm going to be with alot of family and friends so I think I'll be safe, besides, I'm taking my 4 yr old granddaughter with me so we can go to the Eureka Springs Ar Crescent Hotel [haunted, look it up, fantastic history]. I've been there before and have some orbs on film. Then, we're off to Branson MO's Silver Dollar City. A huge hick kinda place: like Disneyland for hillbillies, lol. She'll love it and I will too. I've fond memories of my son and I going there. Unfortunately, my son won't be going because he doesn't feel he has to be there for the scattering of moms ashes. I think he's afraid it will be too traumatic for him because they were so close. I don't know where I got the strength [probably another personality did it because I felt like I was hiding somewhere in a little spot of my mind but, right after mom died, I asked to have a lock of her hair. Well...they told me I'd have to cut it myself. They put it in a long braid, and with the Chaplin with me, I cut the entire braid off. I plan to have 2 porcelain dolls made with her hair: 1 for me and 1 for my sister. I shall probably faint at the funeral. I mean, I have my cats ashes and I can't even LOOK AT THEM, much less toss them to the wind. I know I'll be thinking, 'God, is this all that's left of my mom?' I'll sob, like I am right now just thinking about it. I don't know how well I'll hold up in such heat and humidity as well, with my MS and all.
For those of you who're not even of drinking age yet, trust me. The years go by faster and faster with every decade a looming sad marker and before you know it, younger people look at you [let's say my age] and go "eww, I'll never grow old, look at her stretch marks, look at his receding hair line, etc..." Cherish your youth and don't try to act our age because you'll get there soon enough. But, it's not all downhill from 21ish. There is so much joy in having children, etc. Just enjoy every moment of living your life.
I live by the ocean, on the Pacific NW, and take for granted it's still there, while people from 100's of miles away come here to enjoy our small, but booming tourist coastal town. Trouble is, they keep taking the apartments away from hundreds of families and turning them into condos with no one buying. Ok, I'll get off my soapbox. But if you're interested in the story, look it up under The Daily Astorian, 09/21/10, 1st and front page article with my crying face on it [lol].
I have MS, but with care and with spells, I am not a quadroplegic or a paraplegic: my body works just fine, just painful though. Most people think I'm in my early 30's--it must be the apricot oil I've been using for over 25 years. Plus [hint to those who want to stay looking young] pick and press every single 4-8 leaf clover you can find. You'll get so good at it, that you will be able to find bouqets full in minutes. Make an infusion with clovers, hot water, and honey or turbinado sugar for inner as well as outer beauty for years to come to stave off aging better than any wrinkle cream could ever do. That way, you always have it as a standby to add to almost every selfish spell regarding your looks. I'm sure you could find other uses for it: love spells, etc. use your imagination.
I've been a witch reluctantly from age 10-14: remember what I typed incessantly earlier? Since then I have see-sawed between Satanist, to Christian, to Pagan, and athiest. And what I found is that almost every religion has taken parts of this and that to make it fit to their own tastes.
One spell I've been working on IS WORKING. The woman I have to share a room with is moving out today. I could've done a nasty spell and made the rest of her short life a miving hell. Fortunately, she's digging her own grave. Lies drip from her lips like rubies gone bad; no one believe anything she says anymore. The spell wasn't to hurt her physically. It is meant to bring all her sordid personality flaws out in the open for those arond her and me. And, when push comes to shove--I win in the end. And that's the point behind defensive white magic.
Oh, if I really wanted to hurt her, and believe me--I really do and could, I refuse to stoop to her level, though I've cussed her out like a sailor at times to defend myself, I caught myself stooping to her sickly, trashy level. I rose abve that and triumphed. Now, until she's out of here, I have to hold my tongue lest a spell of pure hatred slips out. Then she'll KNOW what I'm doing. Enough of current events.
colors:cerealian blue, artial red [lol],onyx black, butter cream, white gold, sage green
seasons: beginning of spring here is Seaside OR. The cherry blossoms blowing like large, pink snowflakes adrift on the breeze
late winter: we get alot of rain in lue of snow [which I miss]. This is the time for a good book or 20 [haha], sitting by the fireplace with a hot cup of tea, and my cats lying all about me.
Summer: we really don't have much of a summer, except to say that, compared to Arkansas, we don't have 110 degree heat with 100% humidity. Although is it quite something to watch your rearview mirror slide down your windshield leaving a snail trail of glue.
Fall: mushroom hunting, enough said.
hippie clothing. Bellydance skirts and bras with rhinestones, silk and sequins[hey, that sounds like a good title for a poem]. [I taught bellydancing for 18 years and I miss doing gigs like a Renissance show]had to have surgery on my foot. There was a fire d/t my heating pad being a recall and I didn't know it. It caught my blanket on fire and burnt my acrylic sock on my foot: had to get a skin graft and lost 1/2 my L big toe. psst...in one month I lost my mother, my youngest cat to poisoning and my toe. The law of everyting comes in 3's at work there. I don't know what I did in this, or any other incarnation, but these 3 things plow through my thoughts, is this payment rendered for something evil I have done?
Cats: I AM a Leo/Virgo but my family are pure Leos: my mother and father and my son, alot of us always fighting for the throne here. I have four cats: 3 males named...Domino [a black and white cat, his black spots look like a double 4 domino, he was the only thing I kept from my last relationship that I couldn't part with. Scuttlebutt is my female Maine Coon cat who's very beautiful and getting up there in age. Her name is a military name that means 'to confuse the enemy that you're doing one thing to cover up the fact that you're doing something else. Next is What. He got his name fom his meow that could wake the dead! You wake up going, "What, what is it What? What do you want?" He was pretty ferrel when he came to my apartment building. You can tell he's old and has 'been around the block', so to say. I'm happy I can give him a happy home, with food, warmth, and lots of love. Lastly, there is Jack About Him. He had been cut up: 3 lashes from a knife on each front leg. He was brought to me by Domino [Dom find's other cats in urgent need of help and brings them to me]. The vet said, "what's his name?" And I said, "He's a stray that someone hurt, and I don't know jack about him." She said," that a good enough name. If I help him, also give him shots and fix him, the Shelter will covers all the fees IF you sign here to adopt him." Hence, he came into my life for good. He's a Norwegian Forest cat, related to the Maine Coon cat that I have. Lastly, and sadly there was Tybalt. The nieghbor moved and let him behind. He was about 3 months old. Two days before I moved, another nieghbor poisoned him. He didn't know I knew he did it, he even boasted to another nieghbor that he did it. He's on the run now, and could get up to 20 years. I pray that he's caught.
My goldfish in the fishbowl. This is not for me but for my cats. They like the taste of fish water and Domino catches a live one once in a while. If one dies he gets fresh sushi, yippee! I tried to give him a live one now and then, but I like animals, even feeder fish, and felt bad for it. boo-hoo
My privacy. This is a big one, especially sharing a house with someone. I spend alot of time on the computer with my headphones on to block out her horribe music and her incessantly jabbering mouth. She NEVER shuts up. So I did a mean thing: I did a spell to give her pneumonia alng with the feeling that she MUST have a cig all the time! And it worked. See? Even a white witch can slip up!
Prophacy dreams. Past-life dreams. I get most of my poetry from my deepest slumber. My family fnally started to pay attention to my warnings when I dreamt of something possibly disasterous, like a wreck or the Twin Towers. Once, 01/20/01, I wrote a poem called 'The Original Sin Relived'. It starts out...the twin moons garish loose in agitation loosely 'round Mars' and ends with 'a mushroom cloud soon commenced, the Bitch, she was surely peeved.' Now, I didn't even see what it was about, even after the 9/11 strike on our own soil. It was my publisher, who died of breast cancer before I could get my book published, who saw that every single stanza was about 9/11. She called me a cross between Sylvia Plath [I'm bipolar like she and Robert Frost was] and Nostradamus for my prophacy dreams. If one were to look at the poem off the hard drive, they would see that I did indeed write this months before the actual hit they took out on us. You see, Mars has always stood for the angry red, war-like planet and it does have two moon in a wierd eliptical dance around it's surface. The two moons could be the planes or the Twin Towers. The mushroom cloud could be the buildings falling down, and the Bitch is America. We've referred to our country in a feminine way and the Statue of Liberty was very nearby. I fear publishing this because I could be taken as a supporter for the enemy, which is rediculous.
Sign language: I wanted to commute from Bend Or, to Seaside Or, because on the map it doesn't look that far, but you're talking about a 7 hour drive just to get there and another 7 to get back. I wanted to go there to sign with the monkeys. Instead, my so-called second language came into good use when I worked at the local hospital/clinic as an LPN. I gave up alot of grants in Arkansas to move here for Forensic Anthropology; moving mainly to get as far away from that particular coven who began threatening my entire immediate family, both sides moved here and we've all been safe so far. I hope they've finally given up on getting me back. I like my freedom. Not wondering if that man walking by is part of the coven I escaped. Though I did have a skitzophrenic satanic stalker ho told the judge that his mission was to send me home to Hell in that the Devil was calling me home. I hope he's still locked up in the Salem Mental Hospital. I was the 1st woman in the state of Oregon to get an indefinite, lifetime protective order...like that little piece of paper is going to stop a bullet or something, right...
I like all sorts of art work, except working with oil paints. Ick! I also design flash art for tattoos and get a commission for each one sold.
As I said earlier I love writing poetry and hope to be published by 2014, that is if the world doesn't end...ha...ha...hmm...
Tarot cards, reading different books on religions and word origins.
I just lost all my proofreading and 3 paragraphs. Enough for now. I'm peeved off. See you ikn the chat room.