Hi all. I was once a strong practitioner, I feel on to some hard personal matters and into a deep depression. I gave up practicing. Caring.. I laid there just waiting for the days and nights to pass by.
I found a love I thought would last forever but He and I being together wasn't easy a 41 year old man. Who fought for us to work for 2 1/2 years. Suddenly breaks up with me in a text and has a new girlfriend within hours.
His behavior is completely not the man I once knew.
Long story short.
Love brought me back to magick but it's not the only thing I want my magick back for.
Practicing daily was a part of my life. I lost that. And I need to be around like people.
Right now it's hard to feel anything other then terrible but so correct description of heart break. Boy did they name that correct.
I'm 38. And I forgot what it felt like and I never want to feel it again.
But I love this man. So I set him free. Figuring that old saying he'd come back to me.
Instead he's literally forced himself to hate me. Lied about me. I'm so confused and lost.
If people what I have sacrificed to have been with him. To me it wasn't for nothing.
So yes I want sweet revenge as his new girlfriend taunts me. Had to change my number
But I want an apology from him. I want him to want me. To beg. And grovel. But in having my own self love and respect I am so confused. Did he ever love me? Who was the man I was with all this time? And why'd he turn on me and betray me.
Magick will help me with some of the closure. But it will also open new beginnings and love and light I'm not able to see right now thru this darkness.
I feel like newbie. But I'm not.
I'm just in need of some major guidance. Voice of reason. And refreshing.
Oh. And someone who can make a better poppet then me right now and poke the girls eyes out maybe lol! Kidding!!
Blessed be!