Magic Forums

Hi, I'm terminox. I'm pretty well versed in my ritualistic kinds of magic and from the amount of time ive spent I'm hopefully not a noob.
Cliche as it sounds I do need to talk to people who are more knowledgable about the craft because some weird dreams and seemignly prophetic omens are making me doubt magic.
Just strange dreams really, each night before I asked hecate or some deity (blessings upon them) to teach me true magic in my sleep. I had my dead relative hand me folders they'd filled with magic to me but I'd forget them when I woke up. Regressive hypnosis I don't think I could manage although I did try. The next dream was more of the same except some lunatic god was in my kitchen.
The repeated message is I have to Will/Command things. I tried this but it seems to yeild little or no results.
Where did I go wrong?