Magic Forums

As I am normally a solitary person I don't really follow many forums or groups at all. However, as I am a solitary person, I bonded completely and relied on my familiar of the past 17 years. I had to put her to sleep less then a week ago. As much as I wanted her to come from earth and return naturally she had lost the use of her back legs suddenly and it seemed the only kindness I could offer. I believe she felt at peace but I feel so lost. I feel I betrayed her by letting her go and everything feels so wrong and empty.

Does anyone have experience with coping with this loss. I don't know anyone who understands the bond.