Magic Forums

The title may be weird, so here's what is happening: Whenever I am about to do something crucial, like cast a spell, my thoughts get badly messed up, to they point where they are dangerously reversed. For example, if I try casting a banishing ritual, while i think of casting the spirit away, my mind might slip away on its own and make me think of actually summoning a demon, or if I try to cast a curse, I might lose control over my mind and hurl it on me! In the end, it always gets reversed so as to be harmful to me. And it is so intense...intense enough to prevent me from casting spells. But the most outrageous part is when I try to approach spiritual beings, like deities. I might be just thinking about them, then my thoughts will get warped into something that will either be awkward or even insulting. For example, I started thinking of a god one day while I was praying, and while I was telling the prayer in my mind, I started hearing my self saying random swear words(this happened without me controlling it if course, but in the end, it is awkward).
Am I under the influence of some short of curse? Is a malevolent spiritual entity warping my thoughts in order to trap me into doing something I really shouldn't? Please help me!